The past slams into me, the last time I saw them ringing in my ears.
What should've been a night of celebrations was anything but…it was a disaster, destroying my world in one fell swoop.
The memory tightens its grip on me, and I can almost feel the ache of that final goodbye, the way their voices tangled together, pleading and breaking as I chose my career over them. They didn’t think that was the way I would go. It had been a surprise to all of us. I’d convinced myself it was the right thing to do—hadn’t I? I’d told myself they’d understand one day. That I couldn’t throw away everything I’d worked for, not even for love. I wouldn't have made them make the same choice.
But the second I walk into the house, I know something’s wrong.
They’re all there—Todd, West, Xayden, and Jake—spread out across the living room like they’ve been waiting for me. Jake’s leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, expression unreadable. West sits on the edge of the couch, hands clasped like he’s holding something together. Xayden doesn’t even look up. And Todd…Todd is standing in the middle of the room, back straight, gaze locked on mine.
Still in my audition clothes, I’m practically vibrating with excitement. The call sheet is crumpled in my hand—I must’ve looked at it a dozen times since they told me. I walk in with a breathless smile, heart racing. “I got it,” I say, barely able to keep the joy out of my voice. “They want me in L.A. next week. Six months on location. It’s real, you guys. I got the part.”
Silence.
Not the kind that comes from shock or awe. No one leaps to their feet. No one says congratulations. Just a long, heavy pause that stretches until it strangles me.
Todd’s the one who finally speaks. “What about us?”
I blink. “What…what do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” he says, voice steady but strained. “What happens to us while you’re gone?”
“I—I don’t know. We’ll figure it out. I didn’t come here to?—”
“You didn’t come here to say goodbye?” Jake cuts in. His voice is flat, too calm. “Because that’s what it sounds like.”
“I’m not leaving you,” I argue, stepping further into the room. “I’m chasing the thing I’ve worked my whole life for. This doesn’t have to be a goodbye.”
“You’re going to be gone for half a year,” Xayden mutters, still not looking at me. “And it won’t stop there. It never does.”
“I’m not asking you to wait forever,” I say, even though I’m not sure I believe it myself. “I’m asking you to understand. I love you all. You know I do.”
“Then show us,” Todd says, taking a step forward. “Ash, we’ve been standing still, waiting for you to catch up. Always patient. Always hoping. But if you love us like you say you do, you wouldn’t just walk away the second Hollywood calls.”
“That’s not fair?—”
“No, what’s not fair is you expecting us to keep holding on while you chase something that doesn’t leave room for us.”
I freeze. My fingers twitch around the paper in my hand.
“You have to choose,” Todd says, voice barely more than a whisper now. “Them or us.”
The room spins. My ears ring.
“I can’t believe you’re asking me that,” I say. My throat burns. “You wouldn’t ask each other to choose.”
“We already did,” he says, and this time there’s no softness in his voice. “We chose you. Every time.”
I look around the room, desperate for someone—anyone—to stop this. To step in. But no one moves. West won’t look at me. Jake doesn’t flinch. Xayden just stares at the floor.
And Todd…his eyes beg me to say something different.
But I can’t lie. Not to them. Not to myself.
“I choose me,” I whisper.
Todd’s face shatters. A breath catches in his throat, and he nods once. Slow. Final.
No one says a word as I turn around and walk back out the door.
