CHAPTER 1
Ashlyn
The blood drainsfrom my face as I stare at Shelley, my producer and one of the few people I trust in this industry. “What do you mean we’re partnering with Primal Pulse?” My voice comes out strangled, barely more than a whisper.
Yeah, the ratings have been dropping, but there has to be another way forOmega’s Top Modelto make a comeback.
Shelley beams, completely missing the panic tightening my chest. “It’s perfect, isn’t it? Just what the show needs! Girls are obsessed with them—it’ll skyrocket our ratings.”
I shake my head slowly, as if that will stop the runaway train she’s put in motion.Omega’s Top Modeldoesn’t need to work with Primal Pulse. I don’t think I can handle that. “Shelley, I don’t think?—”
“You’ll love it,” she interrupts, her enthusiasm bubbling over. “They’re smoking hot, Ashlyn. Hot with a capital H! Plus, their style? Their music? It’s got everything: heartbreak, longing, love. Exactly the kind of inspiration the models need. It’s going to be magic.”
Shelley keeps talking, her excitement steamrolling right over my weak protest. “I’ve already set up a meeting for tomorrowafternoon. You’ll love this, Ash. We’ll sit down with the band and brainstorm some ways to make the collaboration pop. Trust me, once you meet them, you’ll see how perfect this is.”
The air around me feels too thick, pressing against my lungs. “Tomorrow?” My voice sounds hollow.
“Yes, tomorrow,” she says with a breezy wave of her hand. “Don’t look so nervous! You’re a pro. Just do your thing, and they’ll eat it up. I’m telling you, this is going to be gold for the show.”
I force myself to nod, even though every instinct screams at me to say no, to find a way out. But Shelley’s already moving on, rattling off schedules and creative pitches. I don’t hear a word of it.
My mind drifts, unbidden, to the last time I saw them—Todd’s furious glare, Jake’s quiet disappointment, Xayden’s sharp words, and West’s haunting silence. That night felt like ripping out my own heart, handing it to them, and watching it shatter into a thousand irreparable pieces.
Pieces that none of us picked up.
What should've been a night of celebrations was anything but…it was a disaster, destroying my world in one fell swoop.
I'm tugged into the past, the memory ofthemwashing over me. The choices we made?—
A sharp clang of Shelley’s mug against her desk jerks me back to the present. I blink rapidly, focusing on her animated face. “You good?” she asks, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me.
“Yeah,” I lie, my voice steadier than I feel. “Just trying to process it all.”
Shelley grins and pats my hand. “It’s going to be great. You’ll see. This is going to be a dream team.”
A dream for who, I want to ask, but I swallow the words. Instead, I plaster on a smile and nod again, because that’s what Ido. It’s what I’ve always done—give my career anything it needs, including my heart.
Once Shelley leaves, I let myself breathe, my shoulders slumping under what’s to come. Tomorrow, I’ll have to face them. I’ll have to see the hurt I caused reflected in their eyes, and I’ll have to pretend it doesn’t claw at my insides. That they hadn't destroyed me too. Or worse, I’ll see nothing, no emotion, and find out that they never really cared in the first place.
My stomach twists and not just from nerves. The old feelings of betrayal creep in, uninvited. Hadn’t they betrayed me too? Asking me to choose between them and my dream? They’d known what that acting break meant to me, how hard I’d fought to get it. And still, they’d forced me to decide.
My jaw tightens as I stand, brushing imaginary lint off my perfectly-tailored jacket. I don’t have time for this. Not the memories, not the hurt, not the anger that simmers just below the surface.
I'm free for the first time after breaking it off with Owen. Thanks to my sister and watching her find love. A love that is so similar to what I thought I had with the guys, that I could no longer pretend with Owen. I’d rather be alone.
I walk to the window, staring out at the city below. The skyline glimmers with the promise of success, a world I’ve carefully crafted for myself, each decision leading me further from the girl I used to be. The girl who loved four boys more than anything. Who thought they loved her back just as much.
Once, I believed I had no regrets. I was pursuing a dream—a future built on ambition—and I assumed that someday everyone would understand my choices. But now, looking back, that decision feels like an anchor, holding me down despite all these years. I see now that I didn’t simply walk away from them; I left fragments of my heart behind. Those were the parts of me capable of true love—parts that no fleeting relationship orbusiness-like partnership could ever replace. Even when I tried to find love—like with Owen—it always fell short.
The thought of meeting them again awakens feelings I buried a long time ago. But even then, I can’t escape the memories of who they were and what they meant to me.
Todd’s fierce intensity, for instance, demanded everything from me. His passion was a raging storm, impossible to ignore, and I was swept away by it until he forced my hand. I still recall that night vividly: his words, firm and unyielding, left no room for compromise. “You can’t have both, Ash. You’ll either be with us or with your career. You don’t get to split yourself in half.” Even as his voice wavered, I saw the stranger in his eyes—a painful reminder that he was serious. It was them or me.
Then, there was West, whose quiet presence spoke volumes. Though he never expressed his sorrow aloud, I felt his silent disappointment like an unspoken goodbye, as if he were witnessing a betrayal of something sacred. And it broke me. With Jake, who had always been the calm amid the chaos, I had hoped for understanding. Yet the hurt in his eyes when I delivered my decision still haunts me, a reflection of a trust I shattered.
And Xayden… he never hesitated to show his emotions. When I chose my path, his cold eyes and biting words cut through me. “You always knew what you wanted, Ash. You’ve always known, haven’t you? And it was never going to be us.” His truth stung—because I had known it all along. I was aware that chasing fame would come at a steep cost.
That was the hardest part. He was right. I had known. I’d always known. But I couldn’t bring myself to choose them. Not when I had worked so damn hard for my shot at fame. Not when I finally had the chance to make my own name, separate from the band they were struggling to launch, separate from everything that had tied me down.
