Shelly continues, “This is the final stretch. The alphas have gotten to know the real you, beyond the scents and the masks we all wear. It’s about connection. But now, we are adding back your perfume into the mix.”
Hope blooms inside of me at her words, and I try to tamp it down. I know what hope got me last time. An expensive ass bonding ceremony that meant nothing and never even happened. But somehow, the thought of it hurts less than it used too. Are Rafe, Elliott, and Miles to thank for that? Or is it this show that allowed me to heal? Because even if they do pick Chad at the end, I think this show has given me the greatest gift of healing my heart. If it gets broken again, I’ll heal. Right?
The thought is interrupted by Blair’s voice, sharp and cutting. “Some of us don’t need pheromones to lure them in.”
Willow rolls her eyes, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Yeah, because your natural charm is just so overwhelming.”
Blair glares at her, but before a full-blown argument can erupt, Shelly steps in again. “Enough. This is about finding true connections. Let’s keep it that way.” She clears her throat and looks at each of us. “Now, Turner’s going to announce the change to you. And you all are going to act excited or nervous or happy. Do you understand?”
She waits until all of us agree. Then she waves Turner forward and steps back, nodding at Thomas to take the reins for filming.
CHAPTER 32
Miles
“Areyou trying to choke yourself with that?” Rafe asks sarcastically, his eyes dropping to the way my fingers are tightening the tie around my neck.
Ignoring him, I focus on the tie in the mirror as he hovers behind me. This insistent, driving need to cancel the entire show and run off with Lilah has me on edge. I can barely focus. I can’t sleep. Running isn’t stopping the idea from circling around my head like it is on its own personal marathon. And it’s only worse now that I know exactly what happened between Elli and Lilah last night.
“It’s crooked,” he adds unhelpfully, and I let out a growl as I untie it completely again.
“Would you like to do it?” I snap.
He lifts an eyebrow and smirks. “You need help dressing now?”
“If it will shut you up,” I say.
He lets out a loud laugh. Elliott appears and leans against the doorframe to the large bathroom, looking like the picture of a relaxed and pleased alpha. Of course he looks relaxed. It makes me growl again.
“You don’t have anything to worry about. Lilah already knows your musk and loves it,” Elliott says, misreading my agitation.
“Out! Both of you,” I say pointing to the doorway.
Elliott falls back, and Rafe shuffles out, the stupid smirk still on his face. What does he have to smirk about—that he had her all to himself in the dance cage for what felt like ages? I slam the door between us before turning back to the mirror.
I didn’t shave. The eight o’clock shadow is now day-old scruff. But at least my hair is clean, still too soft to style without gel. But it doesn’t matter. None of it does. Only the fact that tonight, I’ll get another hit of Lilah’s perfume. Another chance to be around her.
What if she hates my musk now? I know coconut and almond isn’t a scent everyone likes. But not everyone needs to like it. Just her.
With a flick of my wrist, I turn on the water, letting it run down the drain untouched. My fingers curl on the countertop as I watch it swirl around the drain. I can feel my OCD attempting to drive me to act. The unwanted and intrusive thoughts want to drag me down. I’ve never felt this out of control when it comes to an omega.
All I want to do is go to her. Be around her. Breathe her in. Damn it. I can’t go on like this. Riding the edge. Basically falling over the damn thing.
I don’t know how long I stand there, staring sightlessly at myself in the mirror, the water running down the drain. Long enough for Elliott to tap on the door and call out that we have to go soon.
Clenching my teeth together, I twist the water off. My fingers find the tie again, and I quickly knot it before straightening and tightening it some more. It feels like a choker around my neck, but it distracts me enough to beable to twist open the door knob and step out of the bathroom.
Rafe eyes me over a water glass as I step into the kitchen. “Elli’s right. Lilah likes your musk.”
“Easy words for someone that smells like a peanut butter candy bar. But that isn’t it.”
I grab down a glass and fill it with water from the fridge, all the while feeling Rafe burn a hole in the back of my head.
“What is it then?” he asks as I turn back around.
I take a long drink of the ice water before setting it on the counter. With a sigh, I run my fingers through my hair. “It doesn’t bother you?”
He lifts his brows as if to say,what doesn’t bother me, and another deep sigh is pulled from my lungs.
