You left first.
My leaving was for self-preservation. My heart was already broken when Mason announced he was going away for years with the military. He had grand plans, but they werehisplans, not mine. Even if he tried to include me in them. It wasn’t the path I wanted to take. To follow him around or be left home alone while he was called away for months at a time.
Then, that night, when I heard the men talking about using me to pay Mama’s debts, and because I knew she wouldn’t be able to stop them, I left. There was no other way.
It doesn’t matter now. Sadie was right. The others are just as angry with me as she is. They’d never accept us as a couple. They’d ostracize me. Push me away and probably talk shit about me, making things hard for him and his brothers.
The way you did about the women?
I didn’t meanthem.I meant theotherwomen. The ones like my mother, who believed she would be taken care of and want for nothing if she just did what he asked and loved her man hard enough.
She clung to the thought that if she cooked for him and cared for him, and fucked him whenever, however, and wherever he wanted, he would make her his ol’ lady and they would be happy. It’s no different from what the club girls that surround Mason and the Kings talk about. I’ve heard Rachel and Candi talk about landing one of the brothers on occasion, but they haven’t yet.
Mama was wrong. She was humiliated and abused for years.
Kaylie snuggles closer, her body becoming heavy against mine. Putting my wineglass down, I place my hands under her arms and tug her up my body, holding her so her legs wrap around my waist. She gives a small sound of protest but doesn’t wake up as I stand and carry her to her room.
She settles her in her bed as I tuck her covers around her tightly, the way she likes them. “Snug as a bug,” I whisper. Kaylie pops her arm out to the side, searching with her hand, her little face scrunched up in frustration but never opening her eyes. Already knowing what she’s looking for, I grab Winston, her brown stuffed biker bear—the one Mason gave her when she first moved in with me so she wouldn’t be scared—and push him close to her hand. Kaylie tucks him close to her chest, snuggling him down under her covers with her. Within seconds, she’s sound asleep again.
Leaving Kaylie’s door cracked so I can hear if she calls out for me, I go back and grab my glass of wine, finishing it beforeputting it in the sink. I make my rounds, turning off the TV, checking that all the doors are locked, and the alarm is set.
I swap the load of laundry and start another.
Thoughts of being in Mason’s bed flood my mind. I wish I didn’t like the feel of him wrapped around me so much. I wish I could shake this ridiculous crush. I wish I could hate him. Hate his club the way they all think I do.
Truth is, the Kings have been nothing but wonderful to me and Kaylie. They’ve gone above and beyond for us. Keeping us in their clubhouse while we all rode out the snowstorm. Allowing me to be a part of Avery’s wedding and all that went into preparing for it. Usually, I show up, do hair, and then leave. This time I was part of the celebration, and it felt amazing.
And then you opened your big mouth and ruined everything.
I reach my bathroom and turn the shower on to hot and go gather everything I need. Keeping the door cracked, I disrobe and allow the hot water to wash away the day. I take my time washing my hair, soaping up my body, and allow myself a moment to relax.
You’ll figure something out.
I try to reassure myself.
I’ve almost convinced myself that things will be okay by the time the water has run cold and I finally step out of the shower. I wrap my towel around myself and make quick work of drying off. My bed is calling, and I am so ready to crash for the night.
Once I’ve finished getting dressed, I head into my bedroom to put my clothes in my hamper and stop when an unfamiliar scent hits my nose.
Cigarettes and spicy cologne.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up, and I’m suddenly on full alert.
Maybe you’re hallucinating.
Maybe. The last thing I need to do is panic and scare Kaylie.
I slowly put my towel in the hamper and pull the other one from my hair, letting my hair fall, dripping a little over my shoulders.
I scan the room for my phone, only to realize I left my purse in the living room, which means I have to step out into the hall to get it.
Shit.
Trying to maintain some level of calm, I quietly grab the baseball bat I keep tucked up under my bed and make my way out of my room, watching and listening for anything out of the ordinary. Pausing to check on Kaylie, I find her still tucked up under her covers where I left her. The smell doesn’t seem as thick in her room, but it definitely wasn’t there when I put her to bed.
When I finally reach the living room, nothing seems out of place. The doors are all closed and locked, and the alarm is still set. But the smell still lingers.
Am I losing my mind?
