Do you want to meet for coffee after the school drop tomorrow?
I deleted it and then tried again:
Fancy grabbing a coffee after the school run tomorrow?
I wanted it to sound light and breezy. Then I pressed send. I felt bad doing it under false pretences but I knew the situation couldn’t continue any longer. I felt my stomach lurch when she replied almost instantly saying:
Sounds good, I wanted to talk to you about something anyway.
I guessed she probably wanted to discuss what she had told me on Friday night which would make it even more difficult for me to bring up the subject of what was happening between the boys. The timing couldn’t be worse, especially when she was going through a tough time. And now, I was about to add to her worries.
I didn’t sleep that night. I kept rehearsing what I was going to say to Maya the following morning. How I was going to bring it up. What would I do if she got upset? I knew the situation already weighed heavily on her and she felt guilty for the effect it was having on Elliot; I didn’t want to add to her load. I was worried that this might just be too much for her.
‘Are you okay?’ Jay asked the next morning. ‘You don’t look too good.’
‘I didn’t sleep a wink,’ I confessed. ‘I’m dreading seeing Maya later.’
‘You need a coffee,’ he said, springing up and filling the kettle. ‘I’m happy to go with you if you find it really awkward,’ he offered as the kettle grumbled to life.
I shook my head. ‘Thanks, but that might make her feel like we’re ganging up on her.’
Jay made the coffee and placed the mug on the countertop before me.
Finn was staring into his breakfast forlornly.
‘Finn, eat up, son, it’s nearly time to go,’ Jay encouraged.
We both exchanged a look over his head. I could already predict that when it was time for us to leave, he would tell me he was sick or had a pain in his tummy. If I had any doubt in my mind about the conversation I needed to have with Maya, my son’s behaviour made it clear what I had to do.
Finn walked impossibly slowly on the path to school whereas previously, he would run along in front of me, leaving me sprinting to keep up. He clung to me as soon as the school building came into view and I felt his fingers pressing into my skin when it was time to say goodbye. I knew the situation couldn’t continue; it was having a bad effect on him.
When I finally managed to extricate my hand out of his grip, I stood and watched him walk inside the building to make sure he didn’t make a run for it. Once he had safely gone in, I turned around and saw Maya waiting for me at the gate.
‘Finn doesn’t want to go in either, huh?’ she said. ‘I had the same battle with Elliot this morning.’
We began strolling towards the coffee shop.
‘Let me get these,’ Maya offered. ‘You go get a table.’
I made my way down the back and found a discreet table with nobody else sitting around. I wanted the space if necessary in case she got upset.
‘Liv, I was glad when you suggested we meet,’ Maya said as she stirred her matcha a few minutes later. ‘I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh yeah?’ I said, trying to act surprised but guessing she wanted to talk about what she had told me on Friday night.
‘Look, there’s no easy way for me to say this and I really hate having to do this… but, well…’ she broke off.
‘Look, I won’t say a word if that’s what you’re worried about,’ I said, helping her out. ‘It stays with me.’
She looked momentarily confused. ‘Sorry?’
‘About what you told me on Friday,’ I prompted.
‘It’s not that… Liv…’ she said dismissively.
What shocked me more was that there was no awkwardness or sheepishness on her part about it all; it was as if nothing had ever happened. I couldn’t decide whether she was embarrassed to have told me and she was deliberately blocking it out of her head. Or perhaps she had been so drunk that she had simply forgotten.
‘I hate having to do this but Elliot said that Finn isn’t being very kind to him. You may not be aware but Finn pushed Elliot recently. I let it go because I hoped it might have been an isolated incident. I didn’t say anything before now because I thought, they’re kids… let them sort it out between themselves… but he’s deliberately excluding him and I feel I have to intervene now.’
