MAYA
I gritted my teeth and stretched my face into some sort of attempt at a smile as I waved back at Liv, Jay and Finn through the passenger window as Hugo pulled out into the street. They were standing on their doorstep, a barely disguised expression of relief visible on the adults’ faces. The evening had been a disaster. The initial excitement I had felt when Liv had first invited us had rapidly evaporated as soon as we had heard Finn’s shrieks. What should have been a nice evening spent with friends had taken a nasty turn. I was furious with how Hugo had handled the situation; instead of approaching it delicately and diplomatically, he had done his typical alpha-male thing of barrelling in, all bravo and hubris, and turned it tense and divisive. Would it have been too much to ask him to hold his tongue – even if he felt Elliot was being blamed unfairly, couldn’t he have let it go without ruining the evening for everyone? I sat with my seething anger as we drove down the road, too furious to speak. After a few minutes, I noticed Elliot’s head bobbing against his car seat as he fell asleep, worn out by the evening’s events. I really didn’t want to argue with Hugo but I couldn’t help myself; I was about to combust. I wasso frustrated with his behaviour and I couldn’t internalise it any longer.
‘We need to talk to him about his behaviour,’ I said. ‘I know he’s young but we can explain it in an age-appropriate way that he understands.’
‘What do we have to talk to him about?’ Hugo challenged, tossing one hand up into the air. ‘He says he didn’t do anything. I think you’re making too much of a deal about it, Maya. Kids will be kids,’ Hugo went on. ‘Even if he did push him – which he says he didn’t and I believe him – they’re five-year-olds. Kids that age push one another; it doesn’t mean he’s going to grow up to be a violent thug. I won’t have my son blamed for something he didn’t do,’ he snapped, replacing his hand around the leather stitched steering wheel.
‘I know he said he didn’t push Finn but can we believe him? The last time the boys played together, Elliot wouldn’t share his toys with Finn. Maybe he gets a bit… wound up… or something,’ I offered.
‘Just because Elliot didn’t want to share his toys once doesn’t mean that he pushed him tonight. I can’t believe this whole thing blew up over two five-year-olds having a fight,’ he said incredulously. ‘In my day, you could have been beaten black and blue by another kid and your parents still wouldn’t intervene!’
‘Well thankfully, times have changed since then,’ I retorted.
‘Why can’t we just let kids be kids? All these parents fighting battles for their children aren’t doing them any favours. You have to be able to fight your own corner. They’re growing up unable to cope with any little mishaps – that’s life; not everyone is going to get along,’ Hugo went on.
‘But if Elliot is misbehaving, we need to address the problem. I know he’s only five but I want to raise a kind and respectful young man, not a bully.’
Hugo looked at me incredulously. ‘Are you honestly calling our son a bully?’
‘Of course not but we have a duty as parents to make sure we raise him properly.’
‘Whose side are you on, Maya?’ His knuckles whitened around the steering wheel.
‘I’m not on anyside– they’re five years of age, they’re in the same class – they’re going to be spending a lot of time together over the next eight years so I just want them to get along.’
‘Well, I believe my son. Besides, that Finn is a whinge bag; they mollycoddle him. The child had a graze and they were just stopping short of calling an ambulance! Why do you insist on forcing the kids to be friends when they clearly don’t like one another? I don’t get what you see in them; we have nothing in common.’
‘Liv is my friend, Hugo.’ We so rarely went out with my friends; we always socialised with Hugo’s circle whether it was with his work colleagues or his golf buddies. Was it too much to hope that the six of us could have had a nice evening together?
He shook his head dismissively. ‘She’s so frumpy and boring and he’s no better.’
‘They’re nice people, Hugo. Liv is a really great person; she has been such a good friend to me. You need to get to know her.’
‘I’ll pass, thanks. And their house is tiny. I don’t know how they live like that. It’s depressing.’
‘I don’t think they have a choice. You heard what they said about their mortgage. It makes me appreciate how lucky we are.’
Hugo shook his head in bewilderment. ‘I can’t understand how a man can be satisfied doing a job like that.’
‘That’s sexist. Lots of men are going into nursing now. Not all men are like you, Hugo. This whole macho-man thing is outdated. Times have changed. The world needs more nurturing types like Jay.’
‘Well if he’s your type, off you go,’ he scoffed. ‘I don’t think you’d last too long on a nurse’s salary.’
I felt anger warm my veins. ‘Why do you always have to belittle me like that?’ I said. ‘You make me sound so shallow, like I’m a gold digger who’ll put up with a load of crap just so I can have a nice lifestyle.’
‘Isn’t that true?’
‘It’s not always about money, Hugo. Look at Liv and Jay: they don’t have a lot but they seem so content. Money doesn’t buy you happiness. I would much rather have a relationship like theirs compared to our joke of a marriage.’
‘So why do you stay if I’m so horrible? Oh, let me guess… is it because you realise that without me, the designer handbags would dry up?’ he goaded.
‘I don’t know why I bother.’ I sighed, knowing that arguing with him was futile. I turned away and looked out at the suburban streets flashing by in streaks of grey. Why did it have to be so hard? Surely marriage shouldn’t be this difficult? A hot tear of frustration wound its way down along my cheek. Maybe it was time to accept that our relationship was gone past saving.
29
LIV
Jay and I stood on the doorstep smiling and waving to the Laurences like we had all just had a lovely evening together and it hadn’t been a complete disaster.
