Another shiver ran down my spine, and I instantly decided I didn’t want to spend any more time there. Kaven might not believe in spirits, but I did.
I hated my mother’s house. It felt like an empty shell, one I didn’t want to be in more than I had to be. I often spent the night with Kaven. I spent the night only at my mother’s house on her bad days. Those were the days I slept on the couch and covered my head with a pillow while she sobbed.
I worked most of the time to keep away. It was a terrible job that made me barely enough money to survive on my own, let alone with a dependent. So when I wasn’t working, I was hunting.
After I completed my walk-through, I went back to check on Mother. She hadn’t moved.
I bent over and placed a kiss on her cheek. When I stepped back, her eyes were open and sharp.
“You look so much like him.”
“I know,” I whispered.
Her eyes fluttered closed once more.
She could have been talking about Willam, or perhaps Father. I couldn’t be sure of which. Emotion burned my throat.
I slowly stepped back until I was in the hallway again. Covering my mouth with my hand, I let out a muffled sob. I needed to contain myself, otherwise it would make things worse. It was time to leave.
I ran out the door toward Kaven’s house. Tears rimmed my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I quickly wiped the moisture away with my sleeve. Everyone knew my pain. It was clear as day, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed showcasing it.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to turn down Kaven’s offer to leave.
I pinched myself for thinking that way. I could be free of Oak Hollow if I wished, but I could never remove its imprint.
It was too much.
The rain drizzled once more. It was almost as if Our Lady was listening and grieving with me.
Once I reached Kaven’s house, I picked up a pebble and threw it at his window. A few seconds passed, and then I threw another.
Kaven opened his window, and when he looked down at me, no words needed to be spoken. He understood. He always did.
“Come on up,” he shouted.
I nodded and made my way into his home, my only anchor left.
Kaven met me on the stairs and laced his fingers with mine in a quiet show of support. Even when we were children, his presence was always comforting.
Once we reached his bedchamber, we both silently moved to his bed and lay down.
I lay there with his arm thrown over my waist for hours. I stayed perfectly still until I heard his soft snores.
As I moved my hips to exit, he twitched. Kaven grunted and then shifted to his other side, freeing me from his hold. I quickly got out of bed and went into the attached bathing chamber. After relieving myself, I discarded my clothes to change into my nightgown.
By accident, I glimpsed my foreign body in the mirror.
The candlelight was dim, but it still exposed every curve and crevice.
Years had passed since the last time I had properly looked at myself in a mirror. I had been too scared to see the changes taking place, so I avoided them altogether.
My hair was the same, midnight waves that fell to my shoulders and contrasted with the piercing blue of my eyes.
However, I looked more hollow, my face thinner. I wasn’t too frail, though. While I would be no match for someone as broad and strong as Kaven, the subtle muscles from my hours as a tanner were visible.
I was careful not to make any noise as I climbed back into bed. Kaven seldom rested well, so I didn’t want to chance waking him. Too often, he woke screaming from dreams he didn’t dare to tell me about. Dreams I never asked about.
I got under his sheets and felt his hard chest press firmly into my soft back.
