“List all your symptoms, please.”
“Chest pain,” I said, voice small. “Mostly when I lie flat. My breathing’s been shallow. Dizziness. Weakness.”
“Loss of consciousness?”
“Once before. A few weeks ago.”
I felt Rowan’s eyes snap to mine. He scoffed—quiet, bitter. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, like the word tasted like ash.
She scanned me again, frowning.
“There’s nothing out of the ordinary showing on your scan. Vitals appear stable, but that doesn’t always mean there’s nothing wrong. Sometimes, these things take time to reveal themselves. I want you to come in twice a week so we can monitor it closely.”
I nodded, too tired to protest.
Rowan and I left in silence.
Rowan kept a hand on my back, his touch steady. I let him lead me, too tired to argue—but I noticed quickly we weren’t headed toward my quarters.
“My room’s the other way.”
“I know,” he said, not breaking stride. “We’re going to mine.”
I glanced up at him. “People will notice.”
“No one will say a word,” Rowan replied. “Not to me.”
“Because you’re their commanding officer?”
He just nodded.
Inside his quarters, he gestured silently to the bed. I sat without protest, not out of fear, but because, for once, I didn’t want to fight him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he pressed.
“You couldn’t have done anything. I didn’t see the point.”
He stepped back as if I’d slapped him. “You didn’t see the point in telling me you’ve been suffering?”
I shrugged and looked the other way, refusing to meet his gaze. If I told him I regretted my actions, it would change nothing. It would also be a lie.
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
He stepped closer and used a single finger to tilt my face back toward him.
His expression undid me.
He was terrified.
“You think I wouldn’t want to know if you were suffering?”
Silence stretched thick with the hurt I had caused.
I didn’t argue. I couldn’t.
“You’re not just aparticipant. You’re my business, Mavis Ashbone. If I want to worry, I gods-damned will.” He nodded to the bed once more. “Now lie down. You need to rest.”
I did as he asked, slipping beneath his blankets. The scent of sandalwood clung to the sheets, soothing me. His presence lingered like a second skin, and for the first time in days, I let myself relax.
