“Hell no! Why would he be?”
“Nah, that’s good. I just know how marriage can be tricky. Besides, you’ve been with him for a while, and you told me you still loved him.”
“I do, but I don’t ever want a man to think I’m in desperate need of them either. I have my own everything. If he wants me back, it won’t be easy. He has a lot to prove and work on. And who the hell wants to compete with a baby?”
“Fuck him. How do you like your coffee, and don’t say that black shit?”
I laughed, “Three sugars, cream, and some cold foam. A little caramel drizzle if I’m feeling fancy.”
“I’m taking it all in. You got any questions for me, or you scared?”
“Why are you single?” I blurted.
“I’m a little too picky. I don’t want just any type of woman on my arm. I need someone that I can build with and not just have their hand out. Not saying that I won’t carry the load. What I mean is, most women see a man like me and see a bank account. Yes, I will spoil a woman, but I don’t want to be the only one giving, and I can’t be in her presence and not feel safe after the world done beat my ass. I want to come home and lay on her stomach while she rubs my waves. Be my stress reliever.”
“And all the women in the world, and you haven’t found that yet?”
“They’re all taken.” He looked over at me.
We kind of both just sat in silence and ate our food. The silence must’ve gotten to him; he pulled out a remote and dimmed the lights to turn his projector on. He turned a movie on as he took our stuff back to the kitchen. I went down behind him because I needed my phone. We were so engulfed in the moment that I dropped everything and hadn’t thought about my phone since I got here. I had several voicemails from Kileen and a few text messages.
Kileen: I’m at the house. I need a few of my blueprints out of the office. Can you answer the door, please?
Kileen: Tati, come on. I need this shit for a job. Answer the door.
“You okay?” Jah asked, seeing the stress on my face.
“Umm, yeah, my husband was at the house because he needed some blueprints.”
Jah walked off and went back upstairs. I took a moment to listen to the last voicemail Kileen left.
“Aye, I don’t know what the fuck you got going on, but it’s late, and your car is not in the garage. Where the fuck are you at? I need my shit for work, Tati. Do I need to go by Casi’s place? That’s the only other place you can be besides your daddy’s house. Call me back ASAP.”
I deleted the voicemail and headed back up the stairs. Jah was sitting with his back leaning against his headboard, watching the movie he had turned on earlier. Without saying a word, I crawled into bed next to him and lay by him.
“You know, this reminds me of being next to my husband and him ignoring me. He would either be on his laptop, on his phone, or talking my ears off about his day. He would never ask how my day was,” I said, staring off in space.
Jah turned the projector off and pulled me onto his chest. He rubbed my fucked up pixie cut and took in a deep breath.
“I wasn’t ignoring you. I was giving you space to process because I had a feeling he would throw your mood off. Your body language and facial expression told on you. I would never ignore you. That’s someone who is not in touch with themselves. It’s childish as fuck, actually.”
“I wasn’t saying that towards you. It was just being in bed with another man, and we were quiet, gave me that feeling.”
“I don’t want you to feel that way with me.”
Jah spent the rest of the night reassuring me and rubbing my back until I drifted off to sleep. It was something about being around him that made me have the best sleep.
NINE
JAHMIR
I didn't want to let her go. As we stood in my doorway, I leaned down and kissed her on her nose.
“I already know you’re going to act funny with me, but can you at least text me when you make it home?” I asked her.
“I’m not going to act funny.” Tatiyonna gave me a nervous laugh.
I lifted her chin and gave a passionate kiss. When she wrapped her arms around me, I knew she didn’t want to leave either. We both knew what we agreed to, but I wasn’t letting her go until she let me go.
