“Private, where nigga? Private is what got you here. Let’s talk now. ‘Cause you still hadn’t answered my questions.”
“It’s my baby.” He hung his head.
“Okay, and who the fuck is she?” I pointed at Siya.
He looked at her and back at me. I shifted my weight, waiting for an answer. An answer he didn’t have. Rage filled my body as I rushed him and started trying to beat the shit out of him, knowing I couldn’t. It didn’t last long before he bear hugged me and carried me all the way downstairs.
“Tati, I really need you to calm down and act like you got a lot to lose.”
“Let me the fuck go! A lot to lose? I’m going to teach you what it is to lose. Move.” I pushed him out of the way and marched out of the house into the rain.
Casi was already pulled up in front of the house, so I didn’t have far to walk. I was sweating and breathing hard by the time she pulled away from the curb.
“Don’t get in the car on the Evette shit from Baby Boy,” Casi joked.
“Bitch, I wish the fuck I would cry. Fuck him! The only thing I’m hurt about is loving him and not getting that same love back. It’s his loss, not mine.”
Two days wentby before Kileen decided to show his face. By then, I had calmed down, but not enough to not have his things packed. The only thing that stopped me from taking them over to his bitch house was the nigga had checked into a hotel. Asmuch as I begged him to share his location with me, he would always tell me no. To my surprise, I got the notification a few hours after finding out about his secret. Shit, it was too late for him to share his location now.
“Can we talk?” He approached as I was cutting up my asparagus.
“Don’t come near me,” I pointed the knife at him. “All your stuff is in the garage for you to grab, and I need you to leave the key.”
“I ain’t leaving shit. This is our home. We built this together.”
I stared at him as he tried to inch closer. He was standing here telling me all the things I already knew. How we’ve been together since we were kids. How much he loved me, and he made a mistake.
“Kil, don’t try to gaslight me. I know what we built, but you must’ve forgotten. I was here, and all the while you were building somewhere else. As I said earlier, your stuff is in the garage. Nothing is left here for you to come back and get.”
“You’re here.” He grabbed my hand and forced the knife out of it.
My heart was broken. The thought of starting over without him was frightening, but there were some things I couldn’t take, and a baby was one of them. Especially when I couldn’t have my own, and he told me it was okay. It was two things my daddy told me I couldn’t compete with- a baby and another nigga that’s sucking your nigga dick. Thankfully, I was only dealing with one.
“Tati, I fucked up, and I promise if you help me through this, I’ll be a better man than I’ve ever been to you.”
It was always a nigga needing a woman to help him through some shit he caused. Why couldn’t he be man enough to fight his desires? Now he needed my help. The tears welled up in my eyes. Kileen lifted my chin so I could look at him. The love that I once saw in his eyes was not there. He didn’t even lookthe same to me. There was a time when I would melt for him. Today, I couldn’t stand to be in his presence knowing he was just showering at another woman’s house while their baby slept a few feet away. I snatched away from him.
“I need you to leave or I’ll be forced to get my daddy involved, and I’m trying to keep him out of our business.”
“Damn, Tati, why you got to go that low? What do I have to do? Go to counseling? I don’t even want that girl. We fucked around, and she got pregnant. I didn’t want to leave her abandoned.”
“But it was okay to leave me abandoned? You sound dumb as fuck, Kil. Please get the fuck out!”
Then the thought of her house being like my house. The way she dressed was like I dressed, and I got mad all over again. So mad that I slapped the shit out of Kileen.
“You went and found a younger me. She’s your type, and you definitely want her. You wanted her enough that you fucked her raw. How many times?”
Before I could slap him again, he grabbed me and slammed my back against the refrigerator.
“This is what we’re doing? Hitting on each other?”
“Move.” I tried to push him off.
Kileen played football in college and his physique hadn’t changed. He still worked out religiously and ate healthy.
“Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to leave and give you some space. But as far as you and I go, we’re not done. You’re my wife, and I’m going to fight until the death of me to prove to you that it was an honest mistake. And no, I don’t give a fuck if you get your daddy involved. I love you and only you.” He kissed me on my forehead and left.
TWO
