“Here.” I gave him the papers.
“Fuck is this?” He snatched it out of my hand.
“Things will never be the same. I just want to legally separate until I can get my mind right on what I want to do.”
“Is this what you begged me back for? You know the baby comes along with me. Out of respect, I haven’t brought the baby here. Siya doesn’t even know I’m back in the house with you.”
“Beg? I’ve never begged you a day in my life. Would you rather it be divorce papers? I can gladly get them drawn up.” I crossed my arms.
“Tati, I don’t want any of this shit. I want my wife back so we can move forward. I’m doing everything in my power to be the man I used to be. Granted, I fucked up, and now I have extra luggage. Can I get a little credit? I walked away from my baby for you.”
Here we go with this shit again.
Kileen was starting to irritate my nerves making this a me problem. Never did I ask his ass to walk away from his child. He did that on his own and checked into a hotel, let him tell it. For all I cared, he could’ve stayed his ass over there. Then we wouldn’t be here and my confusion wouldn’t exist.
“You wouldn’t have to walk from anyone had you kept your dick in your pants, Kil. You know what, you don’t have to sign the papers. What I do need you to do is go be with your baby.”
He looked at me crazy and I stood my ground. Since he was throwing his baby in my face, he could go and take his ass back over there. He grabbed a pen, signed his name on the line, and slammed the pen down.
“Look,” he walked up to me and pulled me in. “I’m never giving up on us, Tati. I know your emotions are all over the place, and whenever you call, I’m going to drop whatever the fuck I’m doing to get to you. You’re still my wife and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. You want space again? I’ll give it to you. I’ll say sorry until the day I take my last breath.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
An hour later, I was balled up in my bed like a damn fool. Yep, it was my damn fault. I was doing fine until I asked him to come home. It’s me constantly opening the flesh wound to my heart back open. After my crying spell, I booked a hair appointment and told Casi to meet me at our favorite sushi lounge and bar. It’s something about having your hair done. I pulled my phone and took a few pictures for my Instagram page before pulling off to meet Casi.
I let the valet take my car as I headed inside. Casi was already there at our usual table with drinks and shots waiting. All I had to do was call my girl and tell her I needed her. She never questioned me.
“You’re cute.” She smiled.
“Thank ya’, girl. I feel better now that my hair is done.”
“Well, two shots are here for you, and sushi should be coming soon. Ain’t no need to talk about it unless you want to. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and forget these niggas.”
I held my first shot up and tapped it on the table before downing it. We always picked this place that was too expensive for the average person to go to. I didn’t want to run into any clients and she didn’t run into anyone that she knew as well. It always worked out.
“I’m legally separated.” I tossed up the second shot and took it down with ease.
“He signed?”
“Yep. He gave a little push back, but once I told him it could’ve been divorce papers, he signed.”
“Chile, I would’ve gave that nigga them divorce papers quicker than the hair grows back on my coochie. This legal separation is making him think he still has a chance. I mean, does he?” Casi stared at me.
I just shrugged. “Now, let me explain because you are giving me a hard time. I’m thirty-three years old; who the fuck is going to want me? I gave him my best years and I probably can’t even have kids. Shit, he had to go outside of our marriage have his first child. I might as well be a fucking stepmom.”
Casi violently shook her head, damn near knocking her bob wig off her head.
“One thing we are not about to sit here and do is act like being in our thirties is old. As your friend, I can’t let you settle on being someone’s damn stepmom. You’re separated, so at least goon a date. You’ll be amazed at how many men- let me rephrase that, established men are looking for a wife. Shit, how many times have I been engaged?” She popped her collar.
Casi never wanted to be tied down. She kept a man wanting to marry her ass, though.
“What? Four engagements.” I laughed.
“Thangya’,” she tapped her fingers together. “You’ll be fine. Just stay away from him and don’t respond when he texts. The longer you don’t have contact, the more you’re preparing yourself for divorce. As your friend, I’m down for whatever you’re down for. If we need to go beat that baby mama ass, we can do that too.”
“That poor girl is too young to even realize what she did. She’s innocent.”
“Okay, well, if she ever wants to go there, we can take it there.”
We shared a laugh and continued enjoying our drinks and sushi. By the time we were done, I felt so much better and was ready to go on again. Casi and I fussed over who was paying the bill before we hugged and went our separate ways. The roses that sat on my doorsteps didn’t surprise me. I picked them up and set them on the counter. I didn’t even bother to look at the damn card because I knew it was Kileen. He was the only one who knew I loved anything pink, and pink roses were my favorite.
