Sanders steps aside and says, “On your marks, get set, go!”
Wilder pushes me to the side and takes off like a bat out of hell, making me chuckle as I follow behind him.
“Hurry up, wench.”
“Don’t call me that!” I yell.
“Put those short legs to good use.”
I chuckle again and hate him for it, because he’s not supposed to be getting me out of character.
When we reach the first obstacle, Wilder waits for me. It’s a small zigzag with palm trees at every turn. The inflatables are incredibly unsteady as they float on the water, and there’s a solid chance we’ll fall into the water just like every other couple that has started this race.
Pulling me in close, Wilder whispers, “You go first. I’ll rock it too much with my weight, causing you to be off-balance. Remember, the palm trees are just air. You can’t hang on them.”
“Got it,” I say and then shout, “Stop freaking mansplaining everything,” and pretend to whack his hand away.
The first two zigs are easy, but then the float starts to become pretty rocky, so I stay light on my feet and tackle the next two. When I feel myself start to go off-balance, I leap to the end of the zigzags and land on all fours on the inflatable, causing it to rock. I look over my shoulder just in time to see Wilder tiptoe his way across with ease, the rockiness of it not bothering him once.
“What are you doing? Get up,” he yells.
When I make it up, we go to our first staff member who’s holding a card.
Looking between us, they ask, “Do you feel you two spend enough quality time together?”
Without blinking an eye, Wilder says, “No. I’m too absorbed in my phone, and I miss a lot of things she says to me.”
Wow, okay, that feels all too real.
I answer, “No. I stopped planning fun activities because he always ruined them when something didn’t go his way.”
The staff member steps aside and says, “You may proceed.”
Next is an archway of swinging balls.
“You have to run fast. If you see one headed for you, dive and stick yourself to the floor. They will knock you off. We saw that with Duncan.”
“Got it,” I say.
I wait for the first one to move by, and then with all the speed I can muster, I fly down the center of the archway, missing all the balls but one. The last one hits me and throws me off-balance, and I’m about to fly off. Luckily, Wilder is right behind me and grabs me by the waist, pulling me to the ground.
Together, we stand in front of the next staff member, and they ask, “How do you really feel about your sex life?”
This time, I answer first. “Used to be thriving and adventurous, but now I’m too tired and come up with excuses why I don’t want to have sex with him. I have a lot of built-up animosity toward him and don’t have any need to please a man who can’t understand me for the woman I am.”
Wilder looks me in the eyes, seeing the truth right then and there, but thankfully, he doesn’t say anything. “She’s right. We used to be hot and heavy, and now I don’t think she even knows how to undo my zipper.”
“Oh my God,” I yell. “I know how to undo your zipper. Maybe if you looked up from your video games for a moment, I wouldn’t feel so irritated by you, and I would want to please you.”
“Maybe if you didn’t nag me over and over and over again, I wouldn’t want to get lost in my video games.”
“I don’t nag you.”
“Yes, you do,” he yells. “I can never do anything right. Ever. It’s always your way or no way. You would think that there’s compromise in a marriage. Well, not in this one.”
“Because you don’t help around the house!”
“Because I don’t want to help a dictator,” he yells back, only for the staff member to step aside and allow us to enter the next obstacle.
