She purses her lips, unamused as she glances in my direction. “I know they’re supposed to have wrinkles, this set just seems… Oh God.”
“What?”
She clasps her hand over her mouth. “Do you think this scrotum belongs to Sanders and that nipple belongs to Ellison?”
Well, there’s an unnerving thought. I turn toward the pictures, giving them a better look, focusing more on the scrotum than anything. “Ehh, I don’t think Sanders would be that well landscaped. I mean, the man was walking around with a goddamn neck pillow hanging around his throat like a necklace. No way do his nuts look that good.”
I catch the swallow in her throat as she glances at the pictures. “Maybe you’re right, but just to keep the visual out of my head, do you mind if I take them down?”
“Nope. Please do.” I chuckle as I pluck the handcuffs off one by one and then set them in the drawer along with the rest of the lovemaking loot.
Scottie places the pictures in the corner and then scans the room, her watchful eyes taking in every nook and cranny. “There, I think that’s better. All we needed to do was take the sex out of this marriage.”
“Couldn’t be prouder,” I say and then go for our bags. I place them on the bed so we can unpack. “No wonder everyone was gunning to win the mini golf competition. They probably knew they were going to get a free basket of sex toys and condoms.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think about that,” she says. “Makes sense.”
I flip open my suitcase, and I’m met with a paper on the top from Camp Haven.
“What’s this?” I ask, holding it up.
“I have no idea,” she says, walking up to me. “What does it say?”
“‘Dear Camper, your suitcase has been examined by the camp staff, and we’ve found the following contraband in your bag.’” There’s a list of different contraband items, and at the bottom, food/drink is circled. “Holy shit, I think they took the Nerds Clusters.”
“Nooooo,” Scottie says next to me. “Check.”
“I don’t need to. They were right here, on top. They’re gone.”What the fuck is this? They just go through our bags without our consent?
“The hell? What else is on that list?” She takes it from me and scans it for a few seconds before looking up. “Condoms, sex toys, lube, edibles, it’s all on here. What a scam! They want you buying their costly condoms.”
“And here I thought Sanders was an upstanding man.” I shake my head. “I’ll tell you this, my opinion of him has severely dropped with this blatant display of capitalism.”
“Took the Nerds Clusters. Wow, first a blow to the head, and now a blow to the heart.” She drops the piece of paper and walks over to the bathroom.
I start pulling my clothes out when I hear her yelp.
“What’s wrong?”
“Wilder, come here.”
Curious, I set my clothes down and head over to the bathroom, where Scottie is standing, staring straight ahead.
I follow her line of sight, straight to the steam shower, where a large dildo is stuck to the wall.
“Dear God,” I whisper. “Whatever you do, don’t drop the soap, Scottie. For the love of God, don’t drop the soap.”
Chapter Ten
SCOTTIE
“How do you feel?” Wilder asks as I slip on my shoes.
We’re about to head out for the welcome dinner, and frankly, after being in this cabin, I’m now terrified as to what to expect. Is this an orgy thing? I don’t think I can handle it if it is. I can’t afford to quit my job, but the image of Finky walking up to me wearingonlyan embroidered vest, looking to see if I’m ready to have a good time? I’d have no other choice but to quit.
Is that why they like coming here so much, because it’s their one time a year to let loose and have fun?
I really hope not.
