“After you had sex with Matt, was there something you craved? Somethingyoumight have wanted?”
An orgasm?
I think back to the times when Matt and I would have sex and how he would roll out of bed after, clean up, and then go off to his office. It was so cold. Made me feel used.
I nod. “There is something.”
“What is it?”
I look into his eyes and say, “I wanted desperately to be cuddled.”
His brows shoot up in surprise, but then understanding sets in. He takes my hand in his and slips us into my bed. With my back to his chest, he pulls me into him and drapes his arm over my stomach.
“You’re telling me he never did this?”
“No,” I answer.
“What a fucking fool.” He kisses the back of my neck. “Once again: his loss, my gain.”
I sigh into him, realizing just how much I’ve been missing out on.
How much I was sitting in the dark, thinking the way Matt treated our marriage was normal. But if I truly think about it, he was never as attentive as Wilder, even in our early days.
And that’s the big difference. That’s what Wilder has taught me. That I deserve better.
That maybe…just maybe…this is where I was supposed to end up all along.
“You know, there’s only one thing left to check off on your bucket list,” he whispers. “Because we’ve done a cooking class, a movie in a theater, the kiss cam, skinny-dipping, watched some porn…and now, just one more thing.”
“What is it?” I ask, not able to remember.
“Paddleboat.”
I chuckle. “Oh right, because Matt never wanted to do anything fun.”
“Exactly.”
I turn in his embrace to face him. “You really went out of your way to do all those things for me.”
“Pips, I never went out of my way. It’s all things I wanted to do.”
I bring my hand to his cheek. “I want to say you’re too good for me, but I don’t think that’s the case, Wilder. You’re…you’re just perfect.”
He smiles. “That’s what I like to hear.” Then he leans forward and kisses me.
Chapter Thirty-One
WILDER
“Is today the day?” Sanders asks as he putts a golf ball across his office toward a cup we set up.
“Today is the day,” I say.
“Nervous?”
I shake my head. “No. Not in the slightest.”
“You think she’s ready?”
