“I know that,” I say.
“Okay, so once again, what’s the problem?”
“Yeah, because I don’t really see one. The guy is hot, he’s rich, he has an upstanding personality, and we know if he’s there, his intentions are pure, because he’s not going to do anything that hurts his brother’s best friend. We all know how much hecherishes his brother. Therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him.”
“Very poignant, Denise,” Mika says as a car honks in the background.
“Thank you.”
“So…this call really isn’t necessary,” Mika says.
“I’m…I’m scared,” I’m able to squeeze out.
They go silent for a second, and then Denise says, “You can’t live in fear, Scottie. Don’t let what Matt did to you control your future. You have to put yourself out there again, physically and mentally. I know it’s scary, and I know you don’t want to get hurt again, but I wouldn’t encourage you if I thought this was going to hurt you in the long run.”
“He won’t hurt you,” Mika says. “He won’t. Let him show you how you’re supposed to be treated.”
“Give him a chance,” Denise adds.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, letting their words sink in. They’re right, I know they are. Wilder has shown me nothing but patience, understanding, and kindness. He’s been a shoulder to lean on, a sturdy rock when times are tough, and he’s helped me have more confidence in myself. He’s helped me see my worth.
There should be no question.
This should be an easy answer.
I let out a deep breath and nod my head even though they can barely see me. “You’re right. You’re both right.”
“We know,” Denise says in a lighter tone, making me chuckle.
“Give him a shot. You won’t regret it,” Mika says. “We love you, and we know you can do brave things.”
“Thank you,” I say. “Love you guys too.”
Then we say our goodbyes, and I let myself out of the closet and take a second to steady my breathing and calm my nerves.Denise is right. I can’t let what Matt did dictate my future. I need to rise above that, not be scared to give someone else a chance and let people into my life.
And if I can trust anyone, I think I can trust Wilder, especially after what he said to me yesterday—words I can’t ignore.
“If there’s one thing I don’t want you to ever experience again, it’s that feeling of insignificance. I’m in awe of you, and I know with certainty that I want to be a better man…for you. You deserve to be worshipped, so I’m going to prove that I can be the man who can do that.”
He heard me. He wasn’t deterred by my resistance to dating him. Because he heard me. My fears. My desires. My hopes. He’s such a good, good man.
So with courage, I walk back into my living room, where Wilder is waiting for me and I say, “What movie should we see?”
“Okay, what do you want?” Wilder says as he holds my hand in front of the concessions.
“Popcorn,” I say, feeling oddly giddy.
This seems so stupid, so mundane, but then again, when you spend years of your life wanting to do something so simple like this and your partner in life doesn’t want to, the experience is heightened.
“That’s a guarantee. What else? I’m going to get an Icee. There’s Coke-flavored over there, so I think you know where I’m headed. Do you want one too?”
“Yeah, I think I do want one,” I say.
“Awesome. And we need some candy too. But the important question is do we go with a chocolate base or a gummy base?”
“Umm…”
“Wrong choice,” he says with a wink. “We get both.”
