She hands me a quarter, and I run over to the godforsaken red phone booth, slam the door behind me, and dial Denise’s number. If she doesn’t answer, I’m going to scream, because I need someone to talk to…stat.
The phone rings.
And rings.
And rings…
My stomach bottoms out, and then, “Hello?”
“Oh my God, Denise, I have to talk to you, or I might burst into nothing. Thank God you answered, because if you didn’t, I would have one hundred percent turned into dust, and I don’t want to be dust, because holy shit, oh my God, and what the fuck!”
“Umm…Scottie?”
“Yes, it’s Scottie. My God, who else would it be?”
“Okay, you just caught me off guard?—”
“There’s no time for pleasantries. I’m on a freaking pay phone, and I’m unsure of how much time I have here. So I’m just going to tell it to you straight. I just made out with Wilder. Like tongue action and all, and not because we wanted to but because it was part of an exercise we had to do, but Jesus, was I into it. I mean, I got lost in the feel of his mouth, the way his tongue pressed against mine, his light moans. It was visceral. I felt that kiss all the way to my freaking loins, Denise. My loins!”
“Dear God,” she whispers. “Not the loins.”
“The loins!” I shout, and then realize the receptionist is looking at me. I turn away from her and lower my voice. “And he was kissing me back. Like desperately. I tried to play it cool, like ‘Oh, ain’t no big thing, I kiss people all the time,’ but I throbbed, Denise. I throbbed in places I don’t think I’ve throbbed in a long time. If I were to be honest, the last time I throbbed like that, I stumbled acrossTrue Lieswith Jamie Lee Curtis, when she’s trying to seduce Arnold in the bedroom.”
“Why is that the example you gave me?”
“It’s not an example. It’s the truth! There was throbbing.”
“Okay, enough with the throbbing. There are things I don’t need to hear.”
“I need to tell you about the throbbing so you can understand where I’m coming from. And I mean, I’ve throbbed a little. I had to share a tent with him, but this was like…things are moving around down there.”
“Please, for the love of God, stop describing your parts.”
“It’s true!”
“That’s great. Keep the truth to yourself. So why are you calling?”
“Because I shouldn’t be throbbing and making out with Mika’s little brother. What am I thinking? God, he’s so hot. Have you ever seen him? He’s so muscular and handsome, and his eyes are unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and Jesus, the lip ring. My God, Denise, he has this black lip ring in the corner of his mouth that drives me absolutely insane. He tugs on it with his teeth in this innocent way that makes me believe he’s not so innocent. And he says such nice things about me, and he really likes my legs and my boobs, but he doesn’t say boobs, he says tits, and that is so much hotter.”
“Okay, hold up. You’re rambling.”
“I know, because I have limited time, and I need to tell you everything.”
“I think what you need to tell me is that you’re crushing on Wilder, and you don’t know what to do about it.”
“Crushing?”
“Yeah, you’re crushing on him.”
“No, I don’t think that’s a thing.”
She laughs. “It is one hundred percent a thing. You are clearly crushing on him, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to crushon your fake husband. You’ve been single for a while now. You’re allowed to look and mingle and see what else is out there.”
“But…”
“But what? Girl, if I were you and I was sleeping in a cabin with a hot guy, I’d have fun. I mean, why not? What’s holding you back?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t…I didn’t come here to make out with a guy and have fun touching him.”
