He shakes his head. “They charge me if I cancel within the twenty-four-hour period.”
“Freaking capitalism,” I say and pick up my margarita, which I down the rest of in one giant gulp.
Okay, decisions, decisions. Denise with a mustache or a blow-up doll?
“I know,” Mika says. “Why don’t you just take my brother?”
I look up from where I’m hanging my head in disappointment. “Your brother? Pretty sure he has better things to do with his life than attend a marriage counseling session with someone he doesn’t know.”
“He’s retired.”
“Retired?” I ask. “Isn’t he younger than us? Or is there a secret brother I don’t know about?”
“Only one brother and he’s two years younger to be exact,” Mika says.
“Wait, didn’t he sell an app or something?” I ask.
“Yup, hence why he has time on his hands.”
“Now there’s an option for you. Younger brother, retired at the ripe age of twenty-seven.” Denise nudges me with her elbow. “Also, beggars can’t be choosers and you, my dear, are currently a beggar.”
She’s not wrong, but Mika’s brother?
I shake my head. “He’s not going to want to help me out.”
Mika shrugs his shoulders. “You never know. Let me text him.”
“Oh my God, Mika, do not text your brother. That’s humiliating.”
But Mika doesn’t listen as he taps away on his phone.
“Mika, seriously, stop. I don’t want to bother your brother.” I lean over the bar, trying to swat at his phone, but he takes a step back, out of my reach.
“It’s not like you’re asking him for money or something. You’re asking him for his time, and he has plenty of that,” Mika says and then smiles before looking up at me. “He’s in.”
“What?” I nearly shout. “What did you say to him?”
“That my friend needs a fake husband for a therapy session tomorrow at nine in the morning, can you fill in? He said, ‘Sounds like fun, send me the deets.’”
“Well, there you go.” Denise picks up her bottle of Angry Orchard and clinks it against my empty glass. “Problem solved.”
“No, not problem solved. I don’t know him. This is a recipe for disaster.”
“Nothing to really know,” Denise says. “You go in there, knowing nothing about each other. It might help actually. You’ll look like you’re in so much disarray that before you know it, this Sanders character will give up. Might be perfect.”
“She’s right,” Mika says. “Cause some chaos and leave.”
“But I don’t want to cause too much chaos, as this is my boss’s husband after all.”
“You know what? Meet up with Wilder fifteen minutes prior to get your stories straight. That should do it.”
“Your brother’s name is Wilder?” I ask. “How come I didn’t know that?”
“Because you’re not the best at paying attention,” Mika says before booping my nose. “Maybe use that in your marriage counseling tomorrow. I’m giving him your contact info. Expect a text from him.”
When Mika’s done, he sticks his phone back in his pocket and then moves down the bar to a couple that just arrived.
I turn to Denise and whisper, “This is a bad idea.”
