HALSEY
Halsey:Abort. Abort. This is not going well. I fucking touched her tit! I violated her very being.
Silas:How the fuck did you manage that?
Pacey:Dude, that was NOT one of the zones we talked about.
Posey:HER TIT??
Halsey:Yes. Her fucking tit!
OC:Why was your hand that high? I mean, understandable if you were reaching for my grandma’s lower back or stomach and accidentally touched a boob since my grandma’s hang low, but Blakely?
Silas:Are you really calling your grandma’s boobs low-hanging? Dude, show a little respect.
Pacey:Ninety-five percent of the grandma population has breasts that are neighbors with their belly buttons, but we don’t talk about it. Those boobs have seen things . . . respect their journey.
OC:Sorry.
Posey:How did you touch her tit?
Penny:Wait, hold on. I’m catching up. You touched her boob? THIS IS AMAZING!!! How did it happen?
Halsey:This is not amazing. She was humiliated. I was humiliated. And then the smoothie we were making splattered all over the floor. It was a gigantic mess. Nothing about it was great.
Posey:Not even the boob?
Halsey:I didn’t have time to even register what her boob felt like.
Penny:She has great boobs.
Silas:But how did it happen?
Halsey:I scooted in close and attempted to touch her like you said, I aimed for her upper back, thinking that was the safest zone, and she turned at the same time, and I touched her boob.
Posey:The upper back? Dude, that’s just putting you right back into the friend zone.
OC:Yeah, that’s like a “Hey pal, how you doing?” zone. Not a “come sit on my face” zone.
Pacey:He’s right.
Silas:Thank GOD she turned.
Posey:I was just about to say that. Her turn saved this entire mission.
Penny:Boob touch is perfection. Could not have gone any better. Think about it . . . she’s thought of your penis, and now you’ve touched her breast. You might as well let her catch you caressing yourself. Then we would have hit the jackpot.
Halsey:You have lost your goddamn mind if you think I’m going to let that happen.
Posey:You know I’m all for these stages, but I think him pleasuring himself in front of her is a touch too much.
Silas:He’s already semi-messed up every stage, the last thing we need is him prematurely coming and hitting her in the eye.
OC:Ahh, the old pirate . . .
Silas:Ehh, not quite. Isn’t that when the giver is doing the blowing, and the receiver blows one in the eye?
Pacey:And then the receiver also kicks the giver in the leg?
