“I’m serious. This is a great way to break down that awkward boundary.”
“Uh-huh, and what do I say to him?”
“I don’t know, maybe be direct. Ask him if it’s always going to be awkward with him.”
I’m about to tell her that’s the most ridiculous suggestion I’ve ever heard, but then I think about it for a second. The idea has merit. Just ask him. No beating around the bush, no small talk, get straight to the point.
Then again, is that what I want? What happens when we do talk? Where do I want this to lead?
“I don’t even know where I want this to go with him.”
“Valid.” Penny nods her head. “Do you like him?”
I roll my teeth over my bottom lip as I avoid eye contact. “I mean, I think there’s always been a small piece of me that liked Halsey, even when I first met him. I always thought he was sweet and kind and not ruggedly stupid like the other guys. He wassoft-spoken, which I found fascinating for a hockey player. More subdued. And of course, it’s hard not to look past how handsome he is.”
I pull my legs into my chest and rest my arms on my knees. “And then when I started living with him, I found out that he has a great sense of humor. We joked around a lot, and he became a good friend. So yeah, I think I’ve always liked him.”As a person. Never thought I’d want to date the guy.
“Then the sex should be the cherry on top of the cake.”
“But . . . I don’t think I know him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sure, I’ve gotten to know him while living with him, and he’s talked about his brother, but a side of him comes out when we’re intimate, a side I never expected. I think about what the boys have said, what you have said, that he used to be more lively, more energetic before his brother passed. Makes me wonder, do I actually like the real guy? Or do I like a veil of the man he portrays himself as?”
“Wow,” Penny says. “I guess I never thought about it that way. Eli has mentioned how different Halsey used to be.”
“And with this change I’ve seen in him when we’re intimate, it just makes me believe there is so much more to him that he’s not showing. I’m nervous it won’t be the man I like.”
Penny slowly nods her head. “Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out.” She picks up my phone and hands it over to me. “Text him. Worst-case scenario, he’s not the man you started to like, and you can move on. But you can’t keep fucking and not talking. If you like him, find out if you like all of him.”
She’s right.
The sex is amazing, but I can’t keep avoiding him. There are only so many times I can go into work early, and when I start the new job, there will be no escape, not until I find a new place at least.
Might as well text him . . .
HALSEY
I tossmy bag on my bed, then flop backward, my hands covering my face as I feel the need to scream.
She took the fucking job.
I can’t believe it.
After everything we’ve done together. It wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t enough for her to stay.
I’m not fucking enough.
And isn’t that a tough fucking pill to swallow?
Knock. Knock.
One hundred bucks says that’s Pacey checking in on me.
I lift from my bed, open my hotel room door, and sure enough, it’s Pacey.
