“Because you’re fucking lucky,” I shout at her. “Jesus Christ, Lilly. I know this country loves you, but there are some out there who don’t, who are anti-monarchy, and if they had a shot at it, they would tear this palace down. They wouldn’t even think twice about it.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
“Damn right you weren’t thinking.” I rest my hands on my hips, my stomach twisting, knotting together, making me feel so goddamn nauseous that I need to take a second to breathe through the heaviness in my chest. “Do you know how fucking worried I was? How you made Lara and Ottar feel? Like their protection was an absolute joke? Going out tonight wasn’t just some fun thing you could do with your friend. It has consequences. You lost trust with Lara and Ottar, you made me feel like a goddamn helpless human, and you sent the security detail on high alert. And fuck if we know what might leak to the press from what the staff heard or saw in the quarters. This was a huge fuck-up.”
She twists her hands together, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, not sure what else I can say that won’t be entirely too insulting. Anger rages within me, and to avoid letting my thoughts fly out of my mouth, I say, “Get ready for bed.”
She walks up to me, attempts to put her hand on my chest, but I step away. “Keller—”
“I said get ready,” I say through a clenched jaw, causing her to move away from me and to her bathroom.
When I hear the water running, I shoot a text to Lara.
Keller:I’m staying in her room tonight. Let Runa and Ottar know.
Lara:Okay, we’ll station another guard at her door, just for your peace of mind.
Keller:Thank you.
Lara:Don’t be too hard on her, Keller.
Keller:Don’t tell me how to handle my girl. Good night.
I move over to my side of the bed, where I used to sleep before we were separated, and I set my phone on the nightstand before peeling my shirt up and over my head. I toss it to the ground, then sit on the bed, where I take off my shoes and socks, tossing them to the side as well.
While she finishes up in the bathroom, I lean forward, my arms bracing on my trembling legs. The adrenaline from the night starts to settle in my veins, making me feel sick to my stomach and full of energy all at the same time.
“Keller?” Lilly says from the bathroom door. I glance over my shoulder where she stands in only a nightgown. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I ask.
“I thought we weren’t supposed to sleep in the same room.”
“Yeah, well that changed the minute you decided to slip out of the palace without your security detail.” I turn and lift the covers so I can get my legs in. With my back toward her, I lie down on the pillow.
She turns the light off and slips into bed as well.
We lie there, silence consuming us, the moonlight coming through the partially open curtains. After a few moments, she turns toward me on the bed and scoots in close.
“Don’t,” I say.
“Don’t what?” she asks.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Keller, can we talk about this, please?”
“You want to talk about this?” I ask as I flip to the other side, facing her. I lift on my elbow so I can look down at her. “Fine, let’s talk about how I nearly lost my mind with worry as we searched for you, as I waited for Ottar and Lara to bring you back, and how I could do absolutely nothing to protect you because it’s not my job anymore. Do you know how I felt? Helpless, Lilly. Fucking helpless.”
“I . . . I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal.”
“Of course you didn’t. You don’t think about anything other than yourself.”
“Hey,” she says, her expression growing angry now. “That’s not fair. I made a mistake, Keller. Don’t go making assumptions about my character off one mistake. You’ve made them too. Pretty sure the reason we broke up in the first place was because of a mistake you made. You don’t see me throwing that in your face.”
“This is different.”
