He pauses, his back tensing as he slowly spins around to look at me. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” I fold my arms across my chest. “You’re not leaving this goddamn room. That seems to be all you know, to run away when things get tough. Not this time.”
He runs his tongue over his teeth and then to my surprise, he takes his jacket off and tosses it on my bed before rolling up his sleeves, his eyes remaining on me the entire time.
“You have something to say?” he asks.
“Yes, we’re going to talk about this because I’ll be damned if you give up on us.”
“I’m not giving up on us.”
“You are when you run away every time things get heated,” I say, gesturing toward the door. “That’s not the way to have a conversation, Keller.”
“I walk away because if I don’t, I’m afraid I might say something I regret.”
“Just say it,” I shout at him, holding my arms out. “Fucking say it, because then at least we can get it all out in the open.”
“Fine.” His eyes scan me. “I hate that you’re the future of this country. I hate that I fell in love with a princess. Despise it.”
Uh . . . was not expecting that.
I back up from the venom coming out of his mouth, but he doesn’t let me get far. He moves in close, pinning my hip against the bedroom wall. When my back hits the hard surface, my breath escapes me. I look up at Keller and see the anger in his pupils.
“Then . . . then why are you marrying me?” I ask. “If you hate it so much, why go through with it if you’ll be miserable?”
He wets his lips. “Why do you think?” he challenges as his hand slides up my rib cage, right below my breast, confusing me.
Does he want me?
Is he angry with me?
He’s giving me all kinds of mixed signals.
“Why bother being with me? I honestly can’t answer that right now,” I say.
The corner of his jaw throbs with tension as his grip grows tighter. “You can’t answer that? Then you obviously don’t know me like you should.”
“I thought I did,” I reply as his hand moves to the zipper on the side of my dress, his fingers toying with the small piece of metal. The thought of him undressing me sends chills down my legs. “But . . .” He unzips the dress, and my words get caught in my throat.
“But what?” he asks as he smooths one of the sleeves of the dress off my shoulder.
“But . . .” I gulp. “You’re so moody. You’re difficult to read. Like right now, you’re stripping me out of my dress, but you’re also angry. What is it, Keller?”
“Do you know why I’m so moody?” he asks.
I shake my head as he lowers the other sleeve, leaving my dress to pool at my hips. His eyes fall to the blue lace of my bra while his finger traces the underwire. My entire body is lit up with anticipation, waiting for his next move. Hoping and praying he isn’t just teasing me. We’ve been put on a no-sex ban, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun in other ways, seek out pleasure with hands . . . mouths, anything to take this anxiety-ridden, chest-heavy feeling off us.
He leans down so his mouth is right next to my ear. “Because I fell in love with a woman who has a much more important role in this world than loving me back.”
That steals my breath right from my lungs.
He thinks my love for Torskethorpe outweighs my love for him?
“Keller,” I say as his lips find my neck. My hands find the back of his head and hold him tight. How could he even say that? My love for him will always be stronger than this country. I know that shouldn’t be the case, but it is. I push at him so he has to look me in the eyes. “You know how you always say I matter most?”
“You do,” he answers, his eyes not so angry, more resigned now. “Well, in my world, you matter most to me. More than this country, more than this role, and no matter what you say or do, that will always be the case.”
His eyes search mine, and when I feel like he’s going to say something, he pushes off the wall and turns his back to me. With his hands on his hips, he stands still, most likely contemplating what I said.
