Lilly turns to me, those bright blue eyes staring up at me. “Are there?”
“No,” I answer, feeling my entire body wanting to squirm away from this conversation. “I just don’t like revisiting the past.”
“The past is what defines us,” Elias answers with such a calming tone that it actually makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.
“The past is what shapes us,” I reply. “Not defines us.”
“So how would you be shaped?”
When I don’t answer, Lilly says, “Well, he was actually sort of adopted by King Theo and—”
“Lilly,” I snap at her, causing her to startle.
“What?” she asks, looking in my direction.
“That isn’t public information.”
“But he’s Gothi Elias, he doesn’t count. We’re supposed to tell him everything.”
“She’s right, Keller,” Elias says. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy, so what’s said in this room stays in this room. I’m just here to help facilitate conversation between you and Lilly, to make sure you two are ready to take on the important commitment of marriage. And this isn’t just any marriage, this is one with high stakes. A public marriage.”
I move my mouth to the side, not happy with any of this. I don’t like discussing my private life with anyone I don’t know. He might be a gothi of Torskethorpe, but that doesn’t give me the reassurance to be open about my adoption.
Lilly notices the tension bouncing through me, so she turns to Elias and says, “May I have a private moment with him?”
“Of course.” Elias stands and moves out of the room.
With the click of the door shutting, Lilly fully turns toward me and places her hands on my leg. “Keller, you can’t snap at me like that. He’s going to think you’re some sort of commanding asshole, and then he won’t let you marry me.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I say, glancing away.
“Either way. You can’t snap. You have to be open to conversation.”
“I’m open. I told him about my life. There’s no need to dig further into it. He doesn’t need to know everything. He just needs to know the bare minimum.”
“It doesn’t seem like he does. This appointment doesn’t have a timeframe. I think we’re supposed to get it all out there.”
“I don’t want to get it all out there. I’m a private person, Lilly. You know that.” I turn toward her. “And I don’t need you talking for me, telling him some of my most private information.”
“I’m sorry. I just thought you needed a little encouragement.”
“I need this to be over with. I’m not talking about the adoption. I’m not talking about my parents. You know what you need to know about that part of my life. I don’t need to tell some facilitator about it.”
She nods. “Okay, so then what do you want me to do?”
“Tell him you already know that side of me and that it doesn’t need to be repeated.”
Her lips roll together. “Keller, don’t you think that’s counterproductive?”
“No,” I answer. “You already know everything. He doesn’t need to be a part of that conversation.”
“Okay.” She turns away, and I sense she’s not satisfied with that answer, so I tug on her hand to face me again.
“Lilly. This marriage, it’s between you and me, no one else. We might have to go through these courses and sit through these meetings, and give up nights together, but at the end of it all, this marriage, it’s you and me. So let’s protect that.”
She nods and then leans in and presses a light kiss to my lips before standing from the couch.
“Where are you going?”
