“Thank you,” she says when I hand her, her drink. She blows on the steamy liquid, then leans down to take a sip. “Why is it always better when you make it?”
“Because I’m great at everything.”
She rolls her eyes. “Walked right into that one, but glad to see you have your sense of humor back. I feel like it’s been missing. You were Mr. Stern Face throughout our wedding planning.” She sips her coffee. “Which is actually something I want to talk about.”
“Okay,” I say as I rest my hand on her thigh. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I think we need to have an honest conversation about what’s going on between us, what our future looks like, and everything that went sour between us.”
“Yeah, I think we do too.” I rub my thumb over her soft skin. “But I do want to say something first.” I look her in the eyes so she understands how genuine and serious I am. “I’m sorry, Lilly, for everything that happened leading up to the wedding. I should have been more open with you. I shouldn’t have shut down as many times as I did.” I wet my lips and continue, “I had a lot of time to think about it when I was in my cell, and my biggest regret was how I handled you and our communication.”
“I wish I handled it better too. It just felt like we were being pulled in two different directions and never had a chance to pull back together, you know?”
I nod. “Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about because I felt that hard. Between the nightmares, not being able to be near you, the bad news from the doctor, and Elias trying to pry deep into a part of my life I only want few people knowing, I felt like I was unraveling. I should have leaned on you, and I didn’t. I just didn’t want to put more on your plate than you already had.”
“I appreciate that,” she says, then places her hand on my cheek. “But, Keller, without you communicating with me, all it felt like was you were pulling away, which was more scary than anything. I know you say I matter most, but can we change that phrasing? Because what I realized is that I’m nothing without you. I don’t want to walk this life without you by my side. So no, I’m not the one who matters the most.Weare. We matter most.”
I shift my head and kiss her palm. “Okay,” I say. “We matter most.”
“Thank you,” she says softly. She sets her mug on the table and takes mine as well. Then she straddles my lap and rests her hands on my chest. “So can I assume that maybe, once this is all figured out, we might have another chance at walking down the aisle?”
“I’m a man of my word, Lilly. I asked you to marry me because I’ll be damned if you’re not my wife. I have every intention of making sure you’re mine forever.”
“Good answer.” She smiles. “Which means, if we must go through the entire process again, you’ll communicate with me this time? You’ll work on your humility and not being so hard on yourself to be so freaking perfect all the time?”
I nod slowly. “It will take me some time, but yes.”
“And whenever you feel like you’re inferior or something is sitting heavy on your chest, you will talk to me, no matter what?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“And whenever we get back to Strombly, and I have access to a vibrator, you’ll let me peg you?”
My brow rises in question, and she tilts her head back and laughs. “Nice fucking try.”
Still laughing, she asks, “Why not? You liked the slip of my finger yesterday.”
“Yes, you know I like that, but I’m not about to bend over and let you fuck me in the ass with a strap-on. Sorry, I’m the one who does the fucking in the ass.”
“Ooo, promises, promises.” She runs her thumb over my nipple. “What about getting your penis pierced? Think you would do that?”
“I would, but I also wonder how the hell you’d find someone to pierce the future prince’s dick so the future queen can have more pleasure.”
“I’m sure Ottar can find someone.” She waves her hand.
“He’ll need a pay raise.”
“I’m willing if you are.” She wiggles her eyebrows, and fuck, she’s so cute it makes me want to spread her across the couch and fuck her right here and now.
“I’m willing to do anything you want.” When her brow lifts, I add, “Besides the pegging.”
“Ugh, what a shame.” She lets out a deep breath. “I actually have one more thing to talk to you about, but this is serious.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“The whole future baby thing.” I nod in understanding. “I know it’ll be tougher for us, but I still want to try. I want to give us some time and figure out if it’s something we can do ourselves. I mean, we have enough sex for the entire palace combined. I feel like a sperm is bound to make its way through to my eggs.”
“Romantic,” I say.
