If only I could connect these dots, but my mind still feels like mush. I didn’t know how much I was damaged over the past three months up until now.
Not to mention, I can’t stop thinking about Lilly.
How she took care of me.
The look of concern in her eyes.
How she let me hold her.
It’s swarming my brain and making me . . . feel.
It’s making me want to lean on her, lean into her, let my heart wrap around the comfort and safety of her warm body.
Just tell her, you idiot.
Tell her what happened.
Tell her everything.
But . . . will she believe me?
Will it even matter?
She doesn’t want me like that anymore.
And more importantly, I don’t want her to feel like she has to come back to me because of what happened.
I want her to want me for no other reason than she never stopped loving me and will never be able to let me go.
But we know that’s not the case.
From the nightstand comes a buzzing sound.
The cell phone.
Lilly is still watching shows in the living room, so I shut my notebook and open my nightstand, where I pull the phone out. It’s from Theo.
Theo:No mole found, any leads? – Torch
It’s from Ottar. Relieved to hear from him, I type back.
Keller:Arkham involved. Familiar male voices. Used secret passageway in Strombly.
Theo:Any recollection of voices?
Keller:Negative.
Theo:Passageway in Sapphire?
Keller:Affirmative.
Theo:Any suggestions on mole?
Keller:Look into anyone new. There is a source.
Theo:Roger.
I set the phone back in the nightstand and lean my head against the wall just as the TV is turned off and Lilly walks into the bedroom. She glances in my direction and says, “I’m taking a shower.” She tears my shirt off her body and places it in the hamper before shutting the door behind her.
