He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, I can feel his eyes on me, staring, waiting for me to say more, but I keep my mouth shut. The mention of my parents will do that.
“That would be it,” Theo says, which gives me permission to stand from my chair. I move it back to its accompanying desk and walk over to the door where I grip the handle and turn toward Theo.
“Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I won’t let you down, Theo.”
“I know you won’t.” Theo smiles at me. “I love you, son.”
I wet my lips and quietly say, “I love you too,” then I’m out the door, my heart racing, my feet pounding across the soft carpet, propelling me as far away from that conversation as they can get.
* * *
“How are you feeling this morning?”Ottar asks.
Ottar is my new security detail, something I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to. The man is just as tall as I am and maybe has about ten more pounds of muscle on him, but I’m building up pretty close to his size with the workouts we’ve been doing every morning.
“Good,” I answer, despite feeling restless the past few nights. King Theo’s conversation with me still floats around in my head, making its mark.
The weight of his requests.
The need to fit into my new role despite how uncomfortable I am.
The responsibility of acting as Lilly’s consort.
“It’s been three days.”
“I’m well aware of how long it’s been,” I say as I pick up my towel and wipe the sweat off my brow with it.
Three days without fucking Lilly while trying to mentally take on all the changes. Three nights when I haven’t curled my body around her beautiful naked form. Three nights when I haven’t made my girl come or heard her scream my name. It’s been absolute torture.
“Just checking in, because you’re doing a lot of grunting today.”
I glance over at him, brow raised. “You know, it was easier when you didn’t talk. Lara has softened you.” Lara and Ottar are a couple. They don’t show it when on duty. The only reason Lilly and I know is because we’re close to them.
“Lara made me realize that you don’t have a lot of people to talk to and that maybe I should try to get you to open up.”
“Uh-huh,” I say while I move back over to the bench where my weights are racked, ready for me to lift. “And tell me exactly why bringing up the fact that it’s been three days since I’ve been able to sleep with my fiancée is a smart thing to talk about?”
I lie down and place my hands on the bar as Ottar helps me lift it off the rack.
“Because it’s healthy to talk about how you’re feeling.”
I don’t answer him right away, because I’m focused on my breathing and not dropping this weight on my chest. After the sixth rep, I rack the weight and sit up, letting my tired arms hang in front of me.
“You want to talk about feelings?” I ask as I catch my breath. “How about we talk about the date you took Lara out on.”
“Okay,” he says so easily, as if he wasn’t this mute giant that followed me around only last week.
I’ve known Ottar for a decent amount of time. He’s been on staff for a few years now, and since Brimar was incarcerated for treason, he’s stepped up his duties. There’s no doubt he’s the best I’ve seen, besides Lara of course.
“You go first, and then I’ll talk about Lara.”
I stand from the bench and turn to face him. “Is this how it’s going to go? We’re going to open up to each other . . . have more of a relationship than bodyguard and subject?”
He shrugs and re-racks the weight. “Nothing wrong with that. It works for Lara and Princess Lilly. Seems like it’s something we need to do.”
I give him another quizzical gaze.
Even though I hate to admit it, it would be nice to get some of this heavy shit off my chest, the shit I’d never tell Theo or Katla about . . . or Lara, for that matter, because even though she’s one of my best friends—besides Lilly—I doubt she wants to hear about my manly urges and needs to be close to my fiancée.
