“Stop,” I say, bringing his hand between both of mine. “I have plenty of people near me, and you’re not going anywhere, okay?”
“We can’t be sure of that,” he says, being so evasive that it’s killing me. “This is all my fault. I put too much pressure on Keller. To protect you, to be there for you, to make sure he helps carry on the bloodline. Of course, he fled. It was too much to ask of someone.Again. And look what it has done.”
“Please, Theo, please stop.” I grab a tissue from his nightstand and dab at his eyes. “This is not your fault. You were looking out for what’s best for this country, and that’s what a king is supposed to do. It’s always been said, country first. As royals, we are humans, and we’re allowed our feelings, but like you’ve said before, it’s about the sacrifices we make for this country.”
Theo silently shakes his head as more tears fall down his cheeks, the sight of him so distraught tearing a hole in my already battered heart.
I don’t want to see him like this.
I don’t want my misfortune to cause him any more pain or even worse, create a situation that he can’t bounce back from.
After losing both of my parents and feeling so alone for so long, finding Katla and Theo has been like a reawakening for me. A chance to reconnect with my mom, and I’ve been so grateful for these past couple of months. I’d do anything for them.
Anything to keep Theo safe.
To keep him safe.
I’dsacrificeanything . . .
My words echo back into my mind:It’s the sacrifices we make for this country.
Sacrifices . . .
Steeling my jaw, I tack on a smile. Theo doesn’t want me to be alone, then I’ll make sure he doesn’t think I’m alone. He needs to get better, and if this will make him better, I’ll do it. “And you don’t need to worry about me because I actually . . . uh, I actually met someone.”
“What?” Theo looks at me, confused. “You met someone?”
“Yes, at the Winter Flurries party. We talked the whole evening and danced one dance. It was all very platonic, but he actually lives here in Torskethorpe, and we seemed to have clicked. He asked me out to lunch, and I told him I’d get back to him.” I hide my unsteady hands that seem to involuntarily shake.
“Who is it?” Theo asks.
“Evan Sotherby.”
“Oh.” Theo looks surprised. “Good man. Has done a lot for this country. He was in Marsdale?”
“Yes, apparently his parents had some business to tend to, and they forced him to go with them. Something about always wanting to please his parents.”
Theo nods in understanding. “Evan has a complex relationship with his parents. Lost his brother in a horrible boating accident off the coast. Evan wanted to leave the military immediately to be with his parents, to help them through the loss, but his contract kept him in the military for five more years. I believe, from what I’ve been told, Evan will do anything to make his parents happy. So attending an event like a Winter Flurries party, something that’s out of character for him, is an event he’d take on if it meant making his parents happy.”
“Yeah, I got that impression from him. He didn’t speak of his brother, though. I know what losing a loved one is like.”
“Yes, you do,” Theo says. “We both do.” Clearing his throat, he asks, “Are you actually ready to move on? It seemed that at the beginning of this conversation, you mentioned it taking time.”
“It will take time, but at least I can get to know someone while I adjust my feelings.”
“And what about Keller?” Theo asks. “If he ever came back, what would you do then?”
“Wouldn’t matter.” I shake my head. “We’re done.” And I mean that. I can’t imagine a scenario where we’d ever be a couple again, not after all of this.
“Even if he had the best of intentions?”
“The best of intentions would have been walking down the aisle for me, threat or no threat. He should have trusted the security strategies he’d helped plan. Leaving me the morning of our wedding to deal with the humiliation and heartbreak of not marrying the person I thought would be there for the rest of my life . . . that’s not something I could ever forgive.”
Theo nods solemnly. “Then I guess that means it’s time to move on.”
“It does,” I say while I look into his weathered eyes. “What about you? How can I help you get better?”
“You being here is all I need.” He softly smiles, and even though he’s saying that’s all he needs, there’s this niggling feeling in the back of my head that this is more serious than he’s letting on. And if that’s the case, I can’t let him think that I’m not going to be okay, that I’m going to be alone. That I won’t have someone by my side, helping guide me through the role of the queen of Torskethorpe.
