I turn away and bury my head into my pillow as a wave of tears hit me all at once.
* * *
“How is she?”Katla says from my door.
Runa has been fielding visitors all day.
I’ve been in and out of consciousness since this morning, not bothering to lift my head from my pillow.
“Same,” Runa says.
“Does she want to talk?”
“No, ma’am,” Runa says. “She won’t even talk to me.”
There’s silence and then she says, “Let me just try.” Katla’s footsteps cross the bedroom, and I feel her weight on the bed as she sits next to me. I keep my back turned away, tears still falling from my eyes.
Her hand presses against my back as she says, “Lilly, sweetheart. I just want to check on you.”
My lip trembles, and I squeeze my eyes shut, not saying a word.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I want you to know, we’re all here for you. Okay? Anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
More silence as my tears gather on the fabric of my pillowcase.
“And we’re looking into Keller and his location. We’re just as confused as you, and we want to reach out to him as well.”
I want to tell her not to bother. I should have seen it coming. I could see it in his eyes last night. He said all the right things. He told me he loved me. He said he would see me tomorrow, but there was a darkness behind his pupils, a shaded fear that I believe only I witnessed.
He said he wasn’t suited for the spotlight.
The people protesting outside Norse Temple.
His doubts of providing an heir . . .
He said it was fear. The same reason he left me the first time. But now I know better.
He’s a coward.
And I don’t want him anywhere near me.
He’s weak.
And I want nothing to do with such spinelessness.
I should have learned the first time.
And then my heart wouldn’t have been shattered into a million tiny pieces.
She rubs my back. “Okay, well, we love you very much. I’ll come check on you later.”
And with that, she walks out of the bedroom, leaving me with a silent Runa, just the way I want it.
ChapterEighteen
KELLER
Fuck, my head.
