I shut the trunk of my car and nod. “Yeah, he’s a former baseball player. What do you think about that?”
“Um, I say yes, please!”
I chuckle, and we head up toward the hiking trail.
* * *
“Goldfinch, right?”Birdy asks.
“That’s right,” I say, feeling like a proud teacher. “Look at you getting it after the twelfth time.”
She chuckles. “Well, don’t say you can’t teach me anything. Clearly, I’m a master at birdwatching.”
“Clearly.” We make our way up the hill, almost to the crest. “I’m irritated that we haven’t seen more variety.”
“Well, you know, the crow and goldfinch have sealed the deal for me on this birdwatching thing. I think I’m an avid fan forever.”
“Your sarcasm is easily detectable.” I let my binoculars rest on my chest. “If this was a real date, I’d be thoroughly embarrassed by the showing. Here, I’m taking you on some exotic bird tour, and we find a gaggle of crows and a dozen goldfinches.”
“Could have been worse, could have been just the crows.”
“Very true.” When we reach the crest of the hill, we pause and take a second to check out the view of the city.
“Not too bad,” Birdy says as she finds a boulder and takes a seat on it. “Care to join me?”
I take a seat as well. “I’m glad we still went on the hike. I think it’s helping clear my head.”
“Good, which means you might be ready and open to talk about all things Lia.”
“Ehhh, not sure that’s the case.”
She bumps her shoulder with mine. “Come on, I have some insight. I’m a girl, and I know Brian. I could give you some pointers.”
“Yeah?” I ask. “I guess that wouldn’t be too bad to maybe . . . see what you have to say.”
“Glad you’re open to it.” She chuckles. “First of all, you need to know Brian’s weaknesses, and I will tell you right now that communication is one of them. He’s also a workaholic, he’s not very thoughtful, and even though he proposed to Lia, it certainly wasn’t his idea. It was his mom’s becauseshewasn’t happy with him not being married yet. Do I think he loves Lia? Of course, but do I think he could marry anyone? Also, yes. I don’t think the ability to deeply love and be in love with someone is in his bones. I’ve seen it with his girlfriends growing up. They were more like accessories than anything.”
“Yeah, I got that feeling from him. He and Lia started dating not long after she lost both of her parents, and I believe there was comfort in having him around for that type of affection I couldn’t give her.” I wince and say, “Please don’t say that to anyone. I don’t want Lia to find out I’m breaking her trust.”
“Don’t worry, Breaker. I’m on your side. I won’t say anything . . . especially since you’re dangling a baseball player in front of me.”
I chuckle. “A good one at that.”
“I’m counting on it, but seriously, I think one of the best things you can do is be there for her more than you already are. Knowing Brian’s relational deficits, why not emphasize your strengths in those areas? She knowsyou.But is she aware of the man you’d be in a romantic relationship?”
“That’s what my brothers said.”
“Your brothers are smart. And do everything with her, maybe even flirt just a touch.”
“I don’t want to cross the line.”
“Then don’t, but you should subtly let her know that you’re attracted to her. Start hinting at how you feel so that when you do tell her, this isn’t a total shock, and she doesn’t have some assumption that you’re trying to ruin her wedding. Not that I think Lia would process information that way, but just in case.”
“Yeah, that’s actually really smart.” I kick some dirt away. “Fuck, this feels terrifying.”
“Well, feel free to call me anytime and ask for advice. I think you have a leg up on Brian. The only thing that could hold you back is her fear of facing the truth. And the truth is, I don’t think she truly loves Brian. I’ve seen how she interacts with you and how she interacts with him. There’s warmth when you two are together, a connection. I don’t see the same thing with Brian.”
“I don’t either.” I drape my arm over Birdy’s shoulder and say, “We’re going to have to stay in touch, you know. I really appreciate your honesty and help right now.”And hope I’m not putting my trust in the wrong person.
