“Breaker? It’s me. Open up.”
“Oh, uh . . . Lia, is that you?” I even roll my eyes at myself.
“Yes, Breaker. What are you doing? Open up.”
“Ha, sorry,” I call out, even though I don’t move. “Um, just give me a second.” I spin around in a circle, trying to figure out what to do as if something can be done.
Nothing, you dipshit, nothing can be done. It’s not like you can take a washcloth and soap to your feelings and scrub them away quickly. Doesn’t work like that.
Face the facts. This is going to be awkward for you.
Reluctantly and with heavy steps, I head over to the door, open it, and then lean on the edge, attempting to look like the epitome of a casual man NOT in love with his best friend. “Hey there, uh, how are you? Doing good? Wow, the heat today, am I right?”
Her brow curls up in question. “Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not being weird, I’m just . . . uh, striking up a conversation. Am I not allowed to talk about the weather with my best friend? Anyway, is there anything I can help you with?”
With a skeptical look on her face, she says, “Can I stay here tonight?”
“Uhhhh, what now?” I ask, blinking a few times.
“Brian left for San Jose tonight for an emergency meeting with one of his clients, and he won’t be home until Sunday. I’m just, I’m not feeling super great, and I don’t want to be alone.”
“Ah, I see.” I nod slowly.
“So can I stay the night?”
Ha. Spend the night here with me? That seems like an absolute disaster waiting to happen. I’m barely hanging on by a thread, and the cure to all of that is a temptation I can’t consume.
What could I possibly say that would communicateI’m pretty sure I love youandtherefore you can’t be here?
There’s nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
So . . .
“Of course,” I squeak out. “Yeah, you know, because you’ve done that before. You’ve stayed the night, so that shouldn’t be weird.”
Her brows narrow even more. “Why are you all fidgety and sweating on your upper lip?”
“Sweating?” I wipe my mouth. “That’s not sweat. Probably just leftover residue from my drink.”
She eyes me suspiciously. “You’re acting weird, Breaker.”
“You know, I had a beer.” I pat my stomach. “Might have been an off-brand beer, probably isn’t settling well. Maybe I should just let you get to sleep. The guest room is made up.” I move to the side so she can enter the apartment. “Go ahead, make yourself at home.”
“I don’t want to go to bed yet. It’s only eight.”
Feels like freaking eleven at night after the day I’ve had.
“Huh, well, guess that might be a touch early.” I let out a long whistle. “I guess we could hang out.”
“Yeah, I was hoping we could.” She clutches her arms around her waist, and I realize she’s sad. And if I’m sure of anything, it’s that I care about Lia more than anything, more than anyone, so my instincts kick in.
“Everything okay?” I ask, putting aside that I have feelings for my best friend, and now I don’t know how to act around her.
“No.” Her eyes brim with tears. “I’m not okay at all.”
