“Hit me. Watch me pass with flying colors.”
“We shall see about that. Have you ever, since you’ve donned the mustache, peeped into someone’s window, preferably the sex you’re attracted to?”
“That would be women, and no.”
“Good answer. Next question, have you ever felt the need to walk into the ladies’ room because you wanted to take a gander?”
“I’ve heard there are way more stalls, which I’m jealous of because sometimes I just like to sit and pee. But no, I have not.”
My brows pull together. “Sit and pee?”
He shrugs. “I get lazy.”
“Okay, seems like more work to sit down and pee, but to each their own. One more question. Have you ever started a club for men with mustaches and purchased mini mustache combs and creams so you can have mustache care parties?”
“Wow, now that sounds like a good fucking time, but no, I have not.” He drapes his arms along the back of the futon. “So . . . have you deduced that I’m not a pervert?”
“Temporarily. I’m putting you on probation.”
“That’s fair.” He places one leg over the other.
“But I do need to ask a few rapid-fire questions, just to double-check.”
“Hit me.”
“Favorite singer or band?”
“Blondie.”
“Really?” I ask, surprised.
“Yup.” He pops the P, looking so relaxed that, in return, he makes me feel comfortable. “Obsessed.”
“Okay, good answer. How about favorite candy?”
“Smarties because I’m smart, and I think they make me feel extra clever.”
I chuckle. “I guess that’s a good reason. Favorite TV show?”
“Wonder Years. Hence, the Fred Savage comment earlier. Love him. Second toWonder YearsisBoy Meets World, as fuck, did I crush on Topanga so goddamn hard. And of course, Cory is my man crush.”
“Fan of the Savage brothers?”
“They’re my ride or die.”
“Makes you seem very relatable.”
He drags his finger over his mustache as he says, “Stick around, Lia. You’ll see just how relatable a finance major with a penchant to crash his model airplane every time he flies it is.”
“I always thought Shawn was whiny.”
“Join the club,” Breaker says with an eye roll. “Thoughts on Mr. Turner’s mullet?”
“Hot,” I answer.
“So if I were to, let’s say . . . grow this hair out to be a mullet, what would your thoughts be on that?”
“Pitiful, get your own look.”
