I feel like this is a test.
This isn’t an act of goodwill or a way to get closer to me on a friend level. This is a test, and if I fail, he won’t believe me when I say nothing is going on between Lia and me. This is him trying to see if an ounce of romance exists between his fiancée and me.
“A double date.” I smile up at him. “Sounds like fun.”
Can you hear the lies dropping off my tongue? No one, and I mean NO ONE, likes to be set up, let alone on a double date where you get to be stared at the entire time by an established couple.
If you’re looking to spend your evening in horror, that’s the way to do it.
But I would do anything for Lia, so . . . it looks like I’m a double dater now.
“Great.” Brian beams, his rabid expression vanishing. “I’ll set everything up and have Lia relay the info to you.”
“Sounds great,” I say as I take a bite of my salad.
Go be friends with Brian.
Get to know him better.
Clear the air . . .
Yeah, Kelsey and Lottie can go to hell with their advice.
* * *
Lia:Uh, earth to Pickle, earth to Pickle, are you there?
Breaker:I don’t want to hear it.
Lia:A DOUBLE DATE?? Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?
Breaker:Maybe I left him back in New York.
Lia:Do I need to borrow your private jet to fly myself back and see if I can find him?
Breaker:Not sure the greatest SWAT team out there could find him at this point.
Lia:I can’t believe you said yes to a double date. Frankly, I’m a little disappointed in you. You don’t conform to social engagements.
Breaker:But Brian asked, and I felt obligated to say yes. Who knows, maybe this girl will be the love of my life.
Lia:Birdy and Breaker, it does have a nice ring to it.
Breaker:We clearly would need to name all of our children with B names.
Lia:Bertha, Bernard, and Barabbas . . . Auntie Lia is coming for those snuggles.
Breaker:Watch out, Barabbas is still wetting his pants when you squeeze him too hard.
Lia:I thought Birdy took him to the pediatrician to see what the squeeze pee was all about.
Breaker:Weak urethra, just going to have to give him time. Squeeze gently.
Lia:Barabbas is getting a head pat. Bertha and Bernard will be squeezed.
Breaker:Don’t you DARE treat Barabbas differently. He’s human like the rest of us.
Lia:You’re right . . . you’re right, that was wrong of me. I’ll just squeeze gently and wear old shoes.
