It’s plain and simple, just like that. I love her, and I won’t fucking lose her. Not to Brian, not to anyone.
* * *
The elevatordown the hall dings, and I shoot up off her couch, where I was attempting to meditate but doing a piss-poor job. All I ended up thinking about was the picture JP sent me and wondering why the hell she was touching him.And why she was still with him an hour after that photo came through. She’s now been gone for over two hours.
Footsteps track down the hall and come closer and closer to her apartment until her key fits through the lock. I steal my breath, and as the door opens, sweat breaks out over my skin as her beautiful face comes into view.
When her eyes lift and spot me, she startles, clutching the giant white garment bag in her arms. “Jesus, Breaker. I didn’t know you were here.”
My eyes fall to the garment bag, and I know what that is . . . her wedding dress.
What the fuck is going on?
“Hey,” I say, swallowing hard.
“Have you been here the whole time?”
“No,” I say, feeling jittery. “I went back to my place to get changed, but then I came back here to wait for you.”
“Oh,” she says as her eyes fall to the garment bag and then back to me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why is she holding that? Why isn’t she kissing me? Why did she meet with Brian?
“Did you, uh . . . have a nice time?” I ask.
“I did,” she says as she opens her coat closet and hangs the garment bag. She had a good time? With Brian? My stomach plummets as I squeeze my hands together, attempting to stop myself from doing something stupid. When she shuts the door, she looks at me and says, “Listen, we need to talk.”
I’m going to vomit.
How?
How could he possibly come back into her life and Lia be okay with it? She even said it herself she didn’t love him in the end. She was happy with her choice. So what changed her mind? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? I thought . . . well, fuck, I thought we were okay. Better than okay. I thought we were amazing.
“Do you think we could sit—”
“Don’t choose him,” I shout, unable to stop myself. “Please, Lia.” My voice grows shaky. “Don’t . . . don’t choose him.”
Her expression turns into confusion as she says, “Choose who?”
“Brian,” I say. “I . . . fuck. JP saw you at a coffee shop with Brian, holding hands, and I know this is shitty of me to say and to put this kind of pressure on you, but please don’t go back to him. Choose me. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. Anything, just—”
“Breaker,” she says, coming up and taking my hand. “I’m not getting back together with Brian.”
“You’re not?” I ask as a wave of relief floods through me, causing my eyes to tear up.
“No,” she answers as she cups my face. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry that your mind even went there.” And then she lifts onto her toes, brings my face closer, and presses a kiss to my lips. I’m so relieved that I nearly collapse.
“I need . . . fuck, I need to sit down,” I say.
She guides me to the sofa, where I sit, and she sits next to me. I shake my head, wanting her as close as possible, and I bring her to my lap, where she straddles my legs, and I can hold on to her.
“Oh my God, were you thinking this whole time that I was getting back together with him?” she asks.
“Yes,” I whisper as I rub my hands up and down her sides.
“No. I would never. Brian and I . . . well, I guess I should start from the beginning.”
I nod. “Yeah, it might be a good idea.”
