“They do, but there are some specific things they don’t carry.”
“Nice,” I say awkwardly. “Well, I’m just getting toner.”
“And pens, I see,” he says while gesturing to the pens in my hand. “You could never get enough of the felt-tip ones.”
“It’s an unhealthy obsession I’m okay with having.”
“Could be worse, I guess.” He rocks on his heels, and the awkwardness settles.
“Well, I’m just going to get back to my toner shopping.” I thumb toward the shelves.
“Have dinner with me,” he says quickly.
“What?” I ask.
“Dinner,” he says, his pleading eyes lifting to mine. “I just . . . I want to talk.”
“Oh.” I clutch the pens tighter. “Well, Brian, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sort of seeing someone.”
“You are?” he asks, his shock quickly morphing into understanding. “Let me guess . . . Breaker.”
Feeling so freaking guilty, I say, “Nothing happened until after you and I broke up, I swear, Brian. He never made a move on me, ever. I need you to know that.”
He nods. “I believe you.”
And even though he says he believes me, it doesn’t lessen the guilt pumping through me because I know Breaker was such a sensitive topic for him.
“So . . .”
“I still want to have dinner or even just coffee,” he says. “I just . . . well fuck, Lia.” He tugs on his hair. “I just want to clear the air. I know you’ve moved on, but I think I just need some closure.”
As I stare at his weathered eyes, eyes that I used to stare into dreamingly, I realize, that yeah . . . maybe I need some closure too.
So before I can stop myself, I say, “Coffee would be fine.”
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll, uh, I’ll text you the details and leave you to your toner purchases.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Brian.”
He barely smiles and then turns away. When he’s out of sight, I exhale harshly, unaware I was holding my breath.
Closure. I think he’s right. In the back of my mind, I know something has been holding me back from giving myself fully to Breaker. From giving him everything he deserves.My whole heart.Maybe I haven’t closed the chapter on Brian just yet. Although he never usurped Breaker’s number-one spot in my heart—I can see that now—he was important to me.
Closure is always good before you start something new.
Maybe something that’s forever.
* * *
Lia:I’m an idiot.
I pace my bedroom while I wait for Myla to text me back. I didn’t want to bother Kelsey or Lottie because they seem to be going through a lot with their pregnancies and their bumbling husbands. In the off chance that they might say something to JP and Huxley, who might say something to Breaker, I think keeping them out of the loop is smart.
My phone chimes, and I quickly read the text.
Myla:Doubtful, but tell me what’s going on.
My fingers fly over my phone, texting her back as quickly as I can.
