I let out a low groan, my eyes swimming with uncertain tears. Because how can Breaker, my best friend, talk like this? How can he say everything I want Brian to say? Brian can hardly even look at me, kiss me, or acknowledge that I’m a slight distraction from his ever-consuming work.
Another text comes in.
Breaker:Why isn’t he fucking you?
Giving up on trying to figure out what is going on, I move to my bedroom, where I flop on the bed, my headboard hitting the wall.
Lia:I don’t know, Breaker.
Breaker:Did you just lie down in your bed?
Lia:Yes, are you home?
Breaker:Yes, in my bed, thinking about you.
I squeeze my eyes shut and count to five before I answer, before I say something stupid—because I’m extremely emotional.
Lia:Why are you thinking about me?
Breaker:I’m always thinking about you.
Lia:You can’t always be thinking about me.
Breaker:I am. When I wake up, I wonder how I can possibly interact with you, how I can catch a glimpse of your smile. Throughout the day, I know that if I need a pick-me-up, some comfort, or fun, you’re the person I want to see. And at night, when I go to sleep, you’re the last thing I think of before I shut my eyes.
My teeth roll over my bottom lip as I text him back.
Lia:You say that as if it means more.
Breaker:Maybe it does.
Lia:What are you trying to do?
Breaker:Nothing.
Lia:We don’t say things like that to each other.
Breaker:Yeah, well . . . maybe we should.
Lia:What are you talking about?
Breaker:Never mind. You won’t get it. You have Brian.
Lia:Breaker, what the hell are you trying to say?
Breaker:Nothing. Not a damn thing. I need to sleep this shit off. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Lia:No, talk to me now.
When he doesn’t reply, I text again.
Lia:Breaker, do I need to come over there?
Lia:Breaker . . .
I stare at my phone, waiting for a response as my heart races. What is he talking about? It almost seems like . . . like he has feelings or something, but that can’t be right. This is Breaker. He doesn’t dofeelings, right?
When he doesn’t text back, I almost walk over to his apartment until I hear one solid, heavy knock against the wall.
