“Because, like I’ve said from the beginning, Lilly,you matter most. That will never change.”
Her eyes search mine as she presses her hand to my chest. “Do you realize how badly I want to kiss you right now?”
“Don’t,” I say, even though the feeling is mutual. “Because I’ll have to turn you down, and I don’t want to have to do that to you.”
“I know.” She lets out a heavy sigh and leans against my chest again. “I’ll take this instead, the comfort of your arms.”
I stroke her thigh and say, “You know I’ll always be here for you, right? I can’t be here for you like your mom could’ve been, or your dad, but I can tell you this. As long as you stay here in Torskethorpe, I’ll never leave your side. I’ll always be here for you.”
“And if I choose to go back to Miami?”
“Then that’s when we part ways, because you know my life is here. My duty is here.”
“It’s one of the reasons why I like you so much. Your loyalty is unlike any I’ve ever seen. It’s very sexy, Keller.”
“It’s what’s been engrained in my blood. There’s no changing that.”
“So, if I do decide to go back to Miami, would you at least write me back if I wrote you?”
“In my head, I want to say no, because a clean break would be best, but I know, deep in my soul, I’d never be able to fully walk away. I’d write you back.”
“Good, because I wouldn’t be able to fully walk away either.”
ChapterThirteen
LILLY
“Hey, Lilly?” Keller whispers into my ear.
“Hmm?” I mutter as I snuggle my cheek closer against his chest. My legs are tangled with his, and my arm’s draped around his large torso.
“I should get to my bed.”
“Why?” I ask, feeling far too sleepy and comfortable for anything to change.
“I can’t sleep with you. This is crossing a line.”
“Keller, the line is a blur at this point. Please just stay.”
“Please respect my position here, Lilly.” His voice sounds desperate because I know this isn’t what he truly wants. If I were to look into his eyes at this moment, I know I’d see the man who touched my breasts earlier today, the man who wrapped himself around me when we baked, the man who held me tight, letting my sorrow become his. He wants this. But his dedication to “the job” wins out every time, and it’s not fair for me to hold him back from what’s important to him.
Sighing, I pull away from him and roll to the other side of the bed, curling into the cold pillow. “Okay. Sorry I asked,” I say softly.
“Lilly,” he whispers.
I turn my face to my pillow, gripping it tightly as I say, “Keller, it’s fine. I’m not mad. You can go. I know I pushed you too far today.”
He remains unmoving, staring at me. I can feel the blaze of his eyes. His indecision weighs heavy in the air, and even though I want to ask him to stay one more time, I know it’s not fair to keep pushing his limits.
The mattress shifts and my heart sinks as I expect to hear him pad across the stone floor to the bathroom, but when I feel him close in behind me, I’m genuinely shocked. His arm loops around my stomach and he quietly says, “You know if it was my choice, I’d have it this way.” His hand slips under my shirt and his warm palm presses against my stomach. “I’d spend the night, right here, holding you close to me, making sure nothing, not even a nightmare, hurts you.”
God, when he says things like that...
I rotate to my back, and his large body hovers over me, his hand inches from my breast. “It is your choice, Keller.”
“It’s not,” he answers with a shake of his head as his hand slides up to just under my breast, lighting up my entire body with tingles, with need, with the yearning to climb on top of this man and truly take what I want. “Fuck, but I want you, Lilly.”
My heart beats so erratically that I can feel it in my throat as my cheeks flame with this burning desire I have for him.
