Fuck.
Me.
“We shouldn’t be talking about this,” I say, as I feel this overwhelming need to roll her to her back and let her feel how her words are affecting me. How I’m hardening at the thought of her masturbating to me.
“Don’t be such a fuddy-duddy.” She pushes at me playfully. “I told you I wasn’t trying to make a move, just speaking the truth, and the truth is always healthy. You’re incredibly handsome. It’s facts.”
Not facts that I need in my head.
“Next question,” I say.
“Ugh, fine. Let’s see... oh, here’s a good one—have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“Yes,” I answer, leaving it at that.
“Uh, care to elaborate?”
“No, I don’t.”
“That’s not what this game is about. You have to give me a little more detail. How many girlfriends? Were any of them serious? Wait... do you have a girlfriend now?”
“That’s more than one question.”
“Please, Keller.” She shakes me. “Just share with me, you black-souled hottie.”
Fuck, that makes me crack a smile, and this time she sees it.
“Oooo, I got you.” She points at my face. “I got you to loosen up. Your jaw unclenched. Come on, tell me more.”
Sighing, I push my hand through my hair and say, “One serious girlfriend—fiancée, to be exact.”
“Fiancée?” she asks. “Wow, I didn’t see that coming. So, you must have really loved her. What happened?”
“She got a job opportunity to work in London. We talked about what to do. I told her my life is with Torskethorpe, she didn’t see it that way, and things were broken off.”
“Oh, wow, that’s hard. Do you ever miss her?”
“No,” I answer. “She was my first girlfriend. I attached myself to her for all the wrong reasons. It was better off this way. I believe she’s engaged again.”
“You seem so cold about it. You really don’t miss her?”
Not sure what kind of answers Lilly is fishing around for, I turn my head and look her in the eyes as I say, “I don’t. We weren’t a good match if you take into consideration her goals... and my desires.”
“Oh.” Lilly smiles awkwardly. “I can understand that. Not being sexually matched can be a real downfall.” She pulls her legs in tight. “Okay, your turn to ask me a question. Make it a good one.”
A good one?
Well, I have a good one, but I’m not sure I should ask it.
But, fuck, it’s eating away at me. Every time I see her, I want to know the answer. I want to talk about it.
I chew on the inside of my cheek. Fuck it. “When you went to the sex club, what was your favorite thing about it?”
A slow smile spreads across her lips. “Mmm, good question.” She places her hand on my stomach. It hollows out from her touch, but knowing enough about Lilly at this point, I know she’s not touching me in a sexual way, it’s just the way she communicates. “Well, there were quite a few things I liked about it. Mainly, I liked watching the kind of control the men had over the women. But it was never in a bad way, it was as if the women were the most important thing in their lives, and they were treating them like that. Cherishing them.”
“As it should be,” I say before I can stop myself.
Her fingers dance along my shirt, causing my heartbeat to pick up. “I liked watching how possessive the man was when he touched his woman, like every stroke was the first stroke. And there was something so sexy, so fascinating to me when the woman would give in and let the man lead her. The trust between them, it was beautiful.” She moves her fingers over my shirt. “Is that what you like about that side of the sexual experience?”
