“You won’t,” I say. “You’re prepared.”
“I feel like I am, but I’m also nervous, and when I’m nervous, I forget things.”
“Well, we’ll all be there for you,” Lara says. “And I can whisper in your ear if you need help or reminders.”
“That would be so great. Thank you so much,” Lilly says as she sets her spoon down, turned over on her plate, indicating that she’s done. She then places her hands in her lap and smiles at us all. “I know you’re going to say it’s your duty to serve and protect, but I want to tell you how thankful I am for everything you’ve done for me since we’ve been here. I’m not sure you’re aware how terrifying this has all been, but you’ve made it a thousand times easier by being there for me, walking me through everything I need to know, and even poking fun at me when needed.”
I reach out to Lilly and take her hand in mine. I feel the heat of Brimar’s and Lara’s eyes on the connection, but I hold her hand anyway. “You’ve done an exquisite job of handling everything we’ve thrown your way.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you guys. Seriously.” She takes a deep breath. “I truly feel as though you’re family, the family I’ve been missing since my parents passed away. And you’ve shown me the history I’ve been missing my whole life, the history I’ve craved. This has been a scary, but also fulfilling, few weeks, and I’m so thankful for all three of you.”
“Wow,” Lara says, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin. “Does she have the regal thing down or what?”
We all chuckle, and I squeeze Lilly’s hand and say, “She does.”
Shortly after, I carry the plates to the kitchen while Lara and Lilly work on some self-defense moves that Lilly has wanted to learn. I decide to stay in the kitchen and help Brimar.
“What can I do?” I ask him.
He whips a towel in my direction. “You can dry.”
“Easy enough.” I saddle up next to him by the sink, and as he rinses the dishes, he hands them to me. “Want to talk about whatever’s on your mind?” I ask him.
“Nothing’s on my mind.”
“Brimar, I’ve known you since we were kids. Trust me, I can tell when something is on your mind.”
He scrubs a dish extra hard as he asks, “Do you actually like her?”
Not a fan of his tone, I ask, “What do you mean?”
Glancing at me, he says, “It all feels too convenient. So, is this something you worked up with King Theo?”
“What?” I ask him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
He turns toward me now, hands sudsy. “I know Theo wishes you were king, that you could take his place, but we all know that can’t happen. Unless...”
“What the fuck are you alluding to?” I growl at him.
“She’s already lost a lot, and she’s a flight risk. She might think this is all fun and games now, but until she steps foot in that palace and goes day to day with the schedule thrust upon her, she has no fucking clue what this is going to be like. If you jump in, make her fall for you for ulterior motives—”
I have my hand wrapped around his collar and him pinned against the sink before he can finish that sentence. “If you ever accuse me of such treachery again, I’ll have your fucking head, do you understand me?” I seethe. “My love for this country and for Lilly are two separate things. I’ll do anything for Torskethorpe and its traditions. I’m a servant, not a noble. I’m well aware of the difference and that I have no place belonging in the latter. As for Lilly, my feelings for her have nothing to do with her title and everything to do with the person she is. Trust me when I say, the last thing I ever wanted was to get involved with her, given who she is. I’ve battled nightly over that decision, so don’t presume I thought with my dick because that’s never been the case.” I push him away from me and toss the towel on the counter.
He can do the goddamn dishes on his own.
When I start to walk away, I pause and turn back around. When our eyes meet, I ask him, “When did you start questioning my loyalty to this country?”
“Your loyalty to Torskethorpe has never been in question,” Brimar says. “Your intentions have been.”
“You should know me better than that, Brimar.”
“You’re right, I should.” And without another word, he turns to the sink, washing the same dish he was washing moments ago, as if he didn’t just question our entire friendship.
ChapterNineteen
LILLY
“What are you carving?” Lara asks from across the living room, where she’s finishing up embroidering a table runner that I begged her to give me when she’s done.
