“What?” I ask.
She points with her spoon. “Right there, in the corner. What do you think—first date?”
“Do you do that on a first date?” I ask her. “Because from what I recall of our first and only date, you were pricklier than that.”
“Because I was expecting to meet the man of my dreams, and instead it was the man of my nightmares.”
I clutch my heart. “You wound me, Kelsey.”
She nudges my shoulder playfully. “But look at us now, living out a short-term companionship. Miracles do happen.”
“Don’t let it get to your head. We’re barely a short-term companionship.”
“I don’t know, you agreed to a second outing with me, so it seems like we’re committed to each other. If that doesn’t smell of short-term companionship, I don’t know what does.”
“Christ, you’re incessantly annoying tonight.”
“Just a dash of what I have to deal with when I’m hanging out with you.”
And witty.
I scoop up another spoonful of our sundae but focus more on the ice cream than the fudge. I’ve noticed Kelsey is very much into the fudge and figured I’d let her have more.
See, I can be a good guy.
“So, you never answered the question. Is that what you do on a first date? Make out in the corner of a chocolate store so romance voyeurs like yourself can watch the sideshow of lip-locking?”
“Maybe when I was twenty-one I would’ve been more likely to make out in a restaurant, but now that I’m a respectable lady in her mid-twenties, I have standards. I expect a good meal, great conversation, and then, if I’ve been dazzled by the end of the night, I’ll lean in for a kiss.”
“Dazzled, huh? What does it take to dazzle you?”
“Taking notes?” she asks with a raised brow.
“Yes, on how to do the opposite, you know, because if I’m not annoying you, then what am I actually doing with my life?”
Her face falls flat, and I chuckle. “Well, if that’s the case, I’ll be keeping my dazzling to myself.”
I nudge her under the table with my foot. “Just tell me.”
She studies me for a second and then says, “Well, first of all, he can’t be full of himself. He needs to have a level head, and be a good listener, but also not be afraid to talk about himself. Family is important to me, so I want to know that he’s close to his family. Hmm, what else? Oh, a self-deprecating story is always good, because then I know he doesn’t take himself too seriously. I also like little touches here and there, but nothing too over the top. I like to know that he’s interested without crowding me. And of course, interesting questions, a conversation that just flows. Also, I’m super into a good smile, kind eyes, and a man who pulls a chair out for me. A gentleman.”
I slowly nod. “There was a column I used to read, called ‘The Modern Gentleman.’ He always said to open the door for your girl, but as she walks through that door, be sure to run your hand along her ass so she knows who she belongs to. Is that what you’re looking for?”
She blinks a few times and then turns her attention to the sundae. “I mean, I wouldn’t be mad about it.”
I chuckle. “I’m going to take that as ayes. You know, that’s a pretty high standard you’re requiring a man to live up to.”
“Should I feel guilty about that?” she says in challenge.
Not even having to think about it, I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so. Why settle when you know what you want? Although, don’t you think you were settling with Edwin?”
“Edwin was clearly a momentary lapse of judgment. Frankly, I blame you for Edwin.”
“Me?” I point to my chest. “Why do you blame me? I didn’t force you to go out with the dweeb.”
“He wasn’t a dweeb, he was just... dweebish.”
“If that makes you feel better, sure. But not sure why you’re blaming me.”
