An experience I didn’t want. She chose where we were going to eat and, of course, she picked the popular tourist attraction, the Crab House, which, granted, I heard has amazing food. But the vibe is not me. I don’t do plastic bibs.
“I’m good with missing out on the experience.”
“Joo-Joo Poo-Poo, put on the bib.”
“Is Joo-Joo Poo-Poo supposed to be a guess of my name?”
“Yes... is that not correct?”
“Not even close.”
“Damn, I would’ve absolutely snorted all over this table if it was.”
“Attractive.”
“Here we are,” our waitress says, setting down a giant—and I mean giant, baking sheet-sized—skillet of two cooked crabs and a plate of fries between us, along with melted butter in ramekins. “Enjoy.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of crab,” Kelsey says. “But I’ve worked up quite the appetite.” And before I can even consider picking up a fry, she snaps a leg off a crab and smiles at me.
Uhh...
The crunch, the ninja-like way she just did that, the satisfaction in her face... makes me think I should be scared for my life.
“What’s wrong?” she asks with a smirk.
“It’s startling how quickly you snapped off that leg.”
“Let that be a reminder to you, JP. Don’t cross me.”
“Clearly.” I reach for the crab and, gently, because I’m not some sort of barbarian, remove a leg and pull out the meat. When I dip it into the butter, I watch it drip, and drip... and drip.
Fuck.
When I glance up at Kelsey, she’s just smiling at me with that knowing grin of hers. She lifts up the plastic bib and wiggles it at me.
“Just give it to me,” I say, snatching it from her grasp, causing her to tip her head back and laugh.
I fix the bib around my neck and scoot my chair closer to the table.
“Oh, don’t you look adorable?”
“If you take a picture, I’m going to—”
She lifts her phone and smiles just as I see her finger press against the screen. “Oops, too late.” She smiles again and stares at the screen. “Ooo, this might be my favorite of the night. It’s a keeper.”
“Teasing your boss isn’t in your best interest.”
“You’re technically not my boss as you just oversee things. If we want to get down to the nitty-gritty, my boss is Huxley, as you’ve pointed out to me, and I’m sure he’ll give me a raise once he sees the ‘data’ I’ve collected tonight.”
Unfortunately, I think she’s correct.
“I’ll still report insubordination.”
“Good luck with that.” She winks and then rips loose another crab leg. “Now, will you please tell me why this place isn’t suitable for you? Clearly, the crab is delicious, the views are amazing, the attire... top-notch. How could this not appeal to you?”
“It’s gimmicky.”
She rolls her eyes. “Just what I thought, you’re a snob. Don’t hate on a place that does it right for the people who come to visit. This is fulfilling dreams for me right now. Eating crab by the pier, boats just outside the window in the bay, the old subway tile from floor to ceiling, and the simple dining room tables that aren’t quite nautical but offer nautical vibes. This is everything. So, excuse me if I find this completely fulfilling. Now if only the grump sitting across from me would lighten up.”
