It happens in slow motion. I’m unable to completely process what’s going to occur as everything else fades away and the only sound is the long, drawn-out noise of JP saying, “What... the... fuuuuuuck?”
It was never my intention to anger him more, nor was it my intention to cause him to fall.
But I accomplished both things... whilst pantsing him at the same time.
Yup, just like that, with a slight yank, those elastic-banded shorts of his slide right off his narrow hips and down his legs, causing him to stumble even more.
I cry out in horror because, good God, there are loose shorts in my hand.
Which only means...
Please let him be wearing underwear. Please let him be wearing underwear.
He dances above me, attempting to gain balance.
I squeeze my eyes shut out of pure self-preservation.
I twist.
He turns.
He jumps.
I clutch.
And then, with a big crash to the floor, he falls on top of me, pillowing my face with what I can only assume is his stomach.
“Jesus fuck,” he says.
I open my eyes and come face to face with man scrotum.
A man’s freaking scrotum!
“Ahhh!” I scream and swat at his leg. “Your penis is on my face. Your penis is on my face.”
“I know. Fuck,” he yells, attempting to get off me.
“Where is your underwear?”
“I don’t wear underwear at night.”
“Dear God! It’s on my nose! Your genitals are resting on my freaking nose!”
“I fucking know!” he yells back. “But I can’t get up because you’re still holding on to me.”
“I’ve been tea-bagged,” I cry out in horror, his penis still rubbing along my nostrils.
“Let the fuck GO, KELSEY!”
As if I finally realize what’s happening, I release all my limbs and he climbs off me. I scramble up against the wall and hold my hand—still clutching his shorts—in front of my face.
“I’ve been defiled.”
“You’vebeen defiled?” he retorts. “I’m the one who’s been stripped bare.” He yanks the shorts from my grasp and I hear him scurry around, putting them on. When I think the coast is clear, I part my fingers to see if he’s decent.
I’m met with a very angry stare. Menacing, to be precise. Some might actually say... *gulp* sinister.
I attempt a smile, but it falls flat.
