“It’s all anonymous through an app, but everyone is put through a background check and screened to make sure there’s no catfishing. Then, the app matches you with people. You don’t know who the person is by name or what they look like, and you meet up at the restaurant, Going in Blind, where you share a meal together and see if you’re a match. Like a blind date.”
“That’s pretty neat,” Huxley says.
“I love it,” Lottie adds. “God, I should’ve thought of that when I was trolling for a rich husband.”
Huxley’s arm tightens around Lottie as he says, “I think you did pretty good for yourself.”
Lottie cups his cheek and pulls him in for a kiss. “I did decent, though you can be quite grumpy.”
I watch Huxley’s hand curl around my sister possessively as he whispers something into her ear. Ugh, great, you’re in love. WE ALL CAN SEE THAT!
I lean back in my chair and drain my wineglass, while they do some sort of secret whispering thing to each other which, frankly, I have no desire to be a part of. Not that they want me to be a part of it either.
What I would like is to be a part of a relationship like theirs where you’re so infatuated with each other that you completely forget the world around you and get lost in each other’s eyes.
I want to be worshipped.
I want to be important in someone’s life.
I want to be the person someone calls when they need advice or have big news... or just want to hear my voice.
I want to be surprised with flowers at my apartment door. Whisked away to somewhere I’ve never been. Thought of nearly every second of every day because I consume someone’s thoughts.
I want the real.
The ugly.
The pettiness that comes with relationships.
The teasing.
The arguments.
The laughs.
The love.
The romance.
I want it all. And sitting here, watching my sister experience exactly that, yes, it makes me jealous, but it also makes me realize that if I want all those things, I’m going to have to make them happen myself. I can’t sit back and wait.
If I want love, I need to go find it.
* * *
“Oh God,I feel like throwing up,” I say as I shake my hands at my side. “Why did I think this was a good idea?”
“Because you want to be in a relationship,” Lottie says calmly from where she sits cross-legged on my bed.
“I do.” I nod as I stare at myself in my full-length mirror, examining the purple, strapless dress I chose for my date tonight. “I really want to be in a relationship.”
“And you yourself said this guy sounds nice. Likes dogs, has his own business—something you have in common—and has a secret desire to be in a boy band, which is charming.”
“It is.” I nod again, still staring at myself. “The boy band thing really got me.”
“And what was his favorite quote again?”
“‘Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!’” I say, chuckling as I turn to the side, checking out my back.
