“How do you know it’s not the right person? Clearly, you’ve enjoyed it.”
“Because I know there could be so much more intimacy involved. I’ve had just random fucks, but with the right ambiance, with the correct amount of foreplay, I know it could be explosive.”
*Gulp*
Yeah... I could see that.
“What about you?” he asks. “Do you have an ideal situation planned in your head where you’d have the best sex of your life?”
“Not really. I just know that when I find the right person, everything will just click and I won’t have to try. I won’t have to imagine these romantic situations, but rather just live in the moment and let them happen.”
“And you haven’t had that yet?”
I shake my head. “No. For a girl who’s obsessed with love, it’s sad how my love life has turned out.”
“Not sad, you’re just not settling, and I think that’s smart. You will find the right person.” He tips my chin with his forefinger. “But in the meantime, unleash the secret you’ve been holding all night. What’s this dessert you got us that you won’t tell me about?”
Anticipating his reaction, I can’t hide my smile as I get up from the couch and retrieve the bakery box from the fridge.
“Should I be scared by that smile?” he asks when I sit back down across from him.
“Possibly.” I flip open the box and reveal the two dollar-sized penis cookies on a popsicle stick. “I bought us penis cookies, covered in white and dark chocolate.”
I look up at him and wait, grinning like an idiot. The corner of his mouth ticks up, and then he smiles. He picks up the white chocolate cookie and examines it, twisting it from one side to the other. “I’ve never had a dick in my mouth, but there’s always time to change that.” Then he takes a large bite and chews. “Hell, this penis is good.”
I snort so hard I feel droplets of snot come out of my nose.Attractive, Kelsey.
“And so lifelike.” He examines the cookie again. “Now this, Kelsey, this would be average. Your boy... not so much.” Then he takes another bite and I can’t help but think he’s so freaking right.
* * *
JP:Do you hear that?
Kelsey:Is someone having sex? I thought the other people on this floor are across the way.
JP:They are. It’s not them. It’s below us. I just looked. People are fucking on the balcony.
Kelsey:Seriously? Where everyone can see them?
JP:LOL. Oh, Kelsey.
Kelsey:What? That’s concerning, don’t you think? “Caught with your pants down” is a real term.
JP:But that’s the excitement of it all, getting caught.
Kelsey:Let me guess—having sex on a balcony isn’t something new to you.
JP:Not so much.
Kelsey:Shocking.
JP:Are you saying I’m a bit of a man-whore?
Kelsey:I don’t think we need to label our sex lives. You just have a more frequent one.
JP:Very. Want me to teach you a thing or two?
Kelsey:How did I know you were going to suggest that?
