He snorts. “If a cock is velvet to the touch, then the man fucking glue-gunned some fabric to his manhood. Dicks are flesh, and when they’re hard, they’re stiff and veiny. I’m sure you can recall my hard cock. You came in your lingerie, after all.” He gives me a pointed look and I can feel my cheeks heat up. Walked right into that one.
“I came because of the work I put in.”
“Bullshit,” he says. “You came because of the moment you were in.”
“Possibly, but we can’t ever be sure now, can we?”
“I know for sure. You wouldn’t have come like that if I wasn’t there, egging you on, telling you how to touch yourself, grabbing my cock and enticing you.”
I just shrug, because I know he’s right, but I like pushing his buttons.
“Do I need to show you again? Because I will.”
“I know you will, and it’s really not necessary. How did we even get on this topic? Weren’t we talking about dessert for tomorrow? Let’s get back to that. I think it would be lovely if you picked up dessert.”
“Who says I need to pick it up...”
I press my palm to his face and push him away. “It’s either dessert we can eat, or no dessert at all.”
“I can eat my dessert.” He wets his lips.
Oh hell.
“Stop it. You’re making me—”
“Aroused?” He waggles his brows at me.
Yes.
“No. You’re just... you’re making it weird. And I don’t want it to be weird between us.”
“There’s nothing weird about this conversation. Friends can talk about this stuff. Go ahead, tell me the craziest place you’ve ever had sex.”
“Why? So you can just say how vanilla I am?”
“I never said you were vanilla. I said you were innocent. There’s a difference. A vanilla person never would’ve masturbated in front of me.”
Once again, my cheeks heat up.
“Well, that was—God, I hate what I’m about to say.”
“Just say it. We’re buddies now, right?” His one eyebrow raises in question.
“I guess we are.” I roll my teeth over the corner of my lip before I say, “Well, it wasn’t sex, but what we did was probably my most provocative experience. Which, I still don’t understand how that all happened, and I don’t care to hash it out. But, yeah, everything else has been pretty bland in bed. Nothing more than that.”
“Shame,” he says. “If you were mine, we wouldn’t just fuck in the bed.”
“Oh... I’m sure you have a giant list of odd places you’ve, uh, you’ve had sex. So, instead, I’m going to ask, what was your favorite place?”
“Hot tub,” he says without even giving it a second thought. “Fucking in the hot tub. Christ, I love it.”
“Really?” I ask. “It doesn’t get all watery and weird?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “There’s something about a naked woman in the hot tub, fucking her from behind... yeah, I love it.”
“Oh.” I clear my throat. “And, uh, how many times have you done this?”
“Not nearly enough and not with the right person yet.”