Penny:LOL. It would have made me laugh, and that would have started the conversation.
Eli:Noted, so whenever you are mad at me, I’ll be sure to throw it back to the apple day, and let you know that, in fact, I ate one.
Penny:It’s a brilliant tactic. I might use it if needed.
Eli:I can guarantee you, if you texted me tonight, “I ate an apple” I would have 100 percent thought everything was good between us.
Penny:Well, I’m glad we have established that.
Eli:Very glad . . . so where do we go from here?
Penny:I sort of have an idea, but if it’s stupid, you need to tell me, and we can think of something else.
Eli:Let me hear it.
Penny:Let’s simply ask questions as if we’re new friends.
Eli:So we tell each other something the other person might not know?
Penny:Sure. You start.
Eli:Okay, I have to have five gummy bears before every game, home or away. Posey makes sure I’m always fully stocked up.
Penny:Is that why you had that bag with you when you came to my office?
Eli:Yeah, Posey brought it to me.
Penny:When did you start doing it?
Eli:When I was young before my mom died. The last game she saw me play, she gave me gummy bears before the game, and I had one of the best games of my childhood.
Penny:Why the number five?
Eli:Five was her favorite number.
Penny:That’s really sweet, Eli.
Eli:Yeah, I keep it pretty close to me. Please don’t use it as something to promote the team.
Penny:Anything you say to me outside of the stadium is personal. Please know that. I’d never take your personal life and spread it to the fans without your permission.
Eli:You don’t seem like that kind of person, but I figured I’d say it anyway. So what’s your thing?
Penny:When I helped Pacey with his practices, I used to purposely shoot the puck at his crotch because I thought it was funny when he’d miss, and it would hit him. I enjoyed watching him crumple despite having protection.
Eli:LOLOL WHAT? You’d try to hit him in the dick on purpose? Seems like a recurring theme with you.
Penny:Of course. Isn’t that what little sisters are supposed to do?
Eli:Is that why they were created? To wreak havoc on their brothers’ junk?
Penny:Yup. Aren’t you glad you don’t have a little sister?
Eli:For the sake of my balls . . . yes. Were you always a terror?
Penny:I want to say no. I want to tell you that I was the picture-perfect little sister, but that would be lying. I wasn’t even close. I made Pacey’s life hell. Sure, I helped him with hockey, but when we put the sticks down, I made it my mission to make him miserable.
Eli:If my relationship with him wasn’t so rocky, I’d ask you for tips on how to drive him crazy.
