Of course she did. Penny doesn’t say things just to say them.
So that means . . . she loves me. And I have no idea how to react to that other than to hope this doesn’t end us.
ChapterThirty-Three
PENNY
“Why are you whispering?” Blakely asks.
“Because I can’t have him hear me.”
“Who? Eli? Why not?”
I rock back and forth, holding my knees in close to my body—as close as I can get them with my belly.
“I accidentally told Eli last night that I love him.”
“What?” she shouts. “Holy shit, Penny. Did you mean it?”
I roll my lips together as my eyes squeeze shut, tears forming in the corners. “I did. I’ve felt that way for a while now, but I swore I’d never say it, not to him, not when I know his past still haunts him. But we were having this intimate moment, and it just slipped out.”
“What kind of intimate moment?”
“Sex, Blakely. What do you think?”
“Well, I don’t know what you’re doing up there. You could have been enjoying a peaceful sunset, and you said it. But saying it during sex? Oof, that’s rough.”
“I know,” I whisper-shout.
“What did he do?”
“Went completely rigid. Pretty sure I short-circuited him. I pretended as though it didn’t happen, cleaned up, and then acted like I fell asleep quickly, which, in reality, I did not. I was up almost all night replaying the moment in my head over and over again. It’s been absolute torture.”
“Where are you now?”
“In the closet in our bedroom, wishing I could be washed away with the laundry.” My emotions start to bubble up on me, and my throat grows tight. “What am I supposed to do, Blakely?”
“Well, not hang out in the closet all day, that’s for sure. How were things this morning?”
“Fine, maybe slightly tense, but I don’t know if that’s just me or the both of us. We had breakfast together, and then he went to work out, and I’m in the closet. I don’t think I can stay here. What I’ve done is so detrimental, I’m not sure I can recover.”
“Are you just embarrassed?” she asks.
“Well, yes, because who shouts that out while having sex? Especially with someone who has never been in a relationship before. I mean . . . he doesn’t even call me his girlfriend, and here I am, mentioning love. God, that was so stupid. All of this was stupid. I blame this godforsaken baby. I would never have said something like that before, but here I am, his fingers pinching my nipples, and I’m calling out to the heavens above that I love the man.”
“You do, though.”
“I know that, but he doesn’t need to know that.” I press my fingers to my forehead. “Please, Blakely, please help me fix this. I can’t be here.”
“What are you going to do? Run away?”
My head perks up. Run away. That’s . . . that’s a great idea. “Blakely, you’re brilliant.”
“Penny, I was kidding.”
“No, that’s exactly what I need to do. I need to run away. Go back to Vancouver.”
“And what happens when Eli calls you to see why you left? Because you know he will.”
