When Blakely releases me, we both take a seat, and she hands me a drink. “Chai latte.”
“Thank you.” I grip the warm drink between both of my hands.
“So what the hell happened?”
Great question. Still trying to figure that all out.
“It was a good night.” I recount how the dinner went with my parents and everything my mom said, confirming exactly what Blakely said about Eli. “And I don’t know, we were holding hands. He wet his lips. I wet mine. I couldn’t think of a more proper time to kiss him, so I did. And then he pulled away and said he can’t.”
“He can’t?” Blakely asks with a raise of her brow. “Hold on. He can’t, or he doesn’t want to?”
“He can’t. Blakely, it was so humiliating. I put myself out there, and he turned me down. I really . . .” More tears. “I really thought he wanted me.”
“Wait, hold on.” She presses her hand to mine. “Penny, he said he can’t. Do you understand the difference between can’t and doesn’t want to?”
“It’s kind of hard to understand anything at this point,” I say.
“Let me ask you this, did he kiss you back?”
“No—” I pause and give it some thought. “Well, actually, yeah, I guess he did. There was a moment when he kissed me and gripped me tighter. We actually kissed deeper for a second, and then he pulled away.”
“So he did kiss you back, which means something is holding him back from moving forward with you.”
I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose. “Or maybe, he just wants to be friends like he’s said this entire time. Between you and my mom, I falsely believed that this guy actually wants me. He probably just wants some peace in reality.”
Blakely shakes her head. “No, something’s holding him back. From seeing how he dotes on you, how he had his hand up your shirt, and now to this kiss. He wants you, Penny. But there is a roadblock, and you just need to move it.”
I let out a large sigh. “I’m tired, Blakely. I’m a vulnerable mess right now. I don’t want to play a guessing game about what he’spossiblythinking. All I want is a man to want me, to comfort me, to hold me, and to want to have sex with me. Eli is not the man. He made that quite clear tonight.”
“Has he texted you since you bolted?”
“Yes.”
“Have you looked at them?”
“Been too afraid.”
She lifts her cup then says, “Read them to me.”
“They’re probably just stupid texts asking where I am.”
Pinning me with her stare, she repeats, “Read them to me.”
Too tired to fight with her, I pull out my phone and unlock it. I click on my messages and on his name. Clearing my throat, I say, “Penny, I’m so sorry. Can you come back so we can talk about this? Where are you? I’m worried. You fell, and I want to make sure you’re okay. I want to make sure we’re okay. Please text me back, Penny. I’m really fucking sorry.” I glance up at my friend and say, “See. He’s predictable.”
But to my surprise, Blakely is sporting an evil grin as she slowly nods her head. “This is perfect.”
“What’s perfect?”
“We have him right where we want him.”
“And where exactly is that? That’s the same sort of thing he always texts. Sorry to say it, but we need to face the facts. I put myself out there, and he rejected me. We need to move on and figure out how to mend this hole that’s burying deeper and deeper in my chest.”
“Sure, he rejected you, but not because he wanted to. There is something . . .” Her eyes widen. “Hold on a second, I have a thought.” She pulls her phone out and starts typing away.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting to the bottom of this.”
