“Nah, I’m like a fucking tube of salami, man, I get better with age.”
“Isn’t that wine?”
“Whiskey?” I ask. “Gouda perhaps?”
“Gouda? Get fucking real. If you’re a cheese, you’re a Kraft single: cheap and floppy.”
I stick the rest of my cone in my mouth and wipe my hands on my pants. Eh, my mom taught me better but she’s not here. “There you go again, poking at my dick. I might be cheap, but to hell if I’m floppy. Go ahead, touch my dick, I will get hard right now.” I step in front of him, hands on my hips and thrust my crotch at him.
Pushing my chest, he laughs. “Get the fuck away from me.”
I scan the room of production people milling about, setting up Reese’s photo shoot. “Dude, that was good.”
“What was good?”
“You covering up your gayness. No one would have guessed with the way you pushed me away, not wanting to touch my crotch.”
“Fuck. Off.”
“Pardon me, Mr. King, but can I get you to come over to hair and makeup?”
A joke about Reese getting his makeup done is on the tip of my tongue when I turn to see a little brunette with sun-kissed hair, beautifully bronzed skin, and the biggest fucking green eyes I’ve ever seen standing behind Reese.
Holy shit.
The hottest fucking woman I’ve ever seen is standing behind him wearing ripped jean shorts, a tight-as-hell white tank top, and teal Converse. Her hair is shoulder length, wavy, and looks so fucking soft that all I want to do is bury my head in it. But what’s really causing my pants to grow tighter by the minute are her pink-glossed plump lips. I’m mesmerized by the way the lights bounce off them and I can’t fucking help the way my mind wanders, wondering all the ways I can have fun with those lips.
“Are you coming, man?” Reese asks as he walks away.
What? Oh shit.
“Sure. You need me to hold your hand like last time?” I ask, chasing after them. “I don’t mind, but when the scary blow dryer comes at you again, I won’t be cleaning your inner thighs again from pee dribble. I did it once and it was fucking creepy. Never again.”
I don’t get a response besides the middle finger directed at me from behind his back.
Reese sits in a black chair, his large body making the poor seat look like a toothpick. He exhales and slouches as Miss Pouty Lips starts to play around with his hair.
Jealousy instantly consumes me. I want to blast my best friend from his seat and take his place just to experience the feel of her pink painted nails running throughmyhair.
Are her toes painted pink as well? Or does she have them painted a different shade? Fuck, I don’t care, either way I’m hell-bent on figuring it out.
“Do you have dryland later today or do you want to grab dinner?” Reese asks, pulling my eyes off her fingers for a second.
“Are you paying?”
“Cheap fuck.”
I shrug. “I save my money for more important things, like dates.” The girl looks up at me and gives me a courtesy smile. Eh, I’ll take it. “Dude, you’re so fucking rude.”
“What did I do?” Reese asks.
“Uh, you didn’t introduce me to your friend.” I nod at the girl.
“Because I don’t even know her name.” Reese looks a little ashamed as he admits his fault.
I come closer and say, “Then you are fucking rude.” I hold my hand out. “Hi, I’m Hollis and this is my rude-as-fuck friend, Reese.”
The girl shakes my hand quickly, giving me a brief taste of how her palm would match up with mine. “Melony. Nice to meet you.”
