"Tell me about it," I said on a yawn.
"I shouldn’t have woken you," he said. "I can go, so you can sleep."
"No!" I just got him back, and I wasn't ready for him to leave, but I didn't want to come across as needy, either. "I mean, if you have to go, I understand."
"I don’t have to go anywhere," he said. "But maybe you should sleep."
He moved onto my bed and pulled me to his side. "You looked so uncomfortable before," he said. "How can I help?"
"Maybe, if I . . . ." I shifted, rolled onto my side, and threw my leg over his hip.
"That seems to take the pressure off my stomach. I usually do it with the pillow, but it seems to work better with you."
"Okay." He smiled. "Whatever works for you." He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head.
I’d waited so many nights for him to hold me like this. I didn't realized how much I needed him to touch me. This was the emotional connection I'd been missing during my whole pregnancy. Things weren’t perfect, I knew that. We had a long way to go before we worked everything out, but he was there and that was a start.
"He’s moving." I smiled.
"Now?"
I nodded.
He slowly moved his hand down my hip, but stopped before he got to my stomach. "Can I?" he whispered.
"Yes." I smiled up at him. "I want you to feel him."
"It could be a she, you know?" He grinned and gently placed his hand over my abdomen. We waited a few seconds, and then the baby kicked.
"Did you feel that?"
"Yeah! That’s really cool." His face lit up, clearly reflecting his joy. "Maybe we have a soccer star in there?" The baby moved again, and Alex’s smile widened. "I could do this all night."
"You may get your chance." I yawned again. "He’s not gonna settle down anytime soon." My eyelids fluttered.
"Sleep now," he whispered. "I’ll stay for a while."
"Okay," I mumbled, but I couldn’t fight my sleepiness, and I felt much calmer with Alex there. Moments later, I drifted off.
Chapter Nineteen
Two dozen yellow roses? Was he out of his mind? One dozen would have been more than enough.
I placed the vase in the center of the kitchen table and re-read the card that came with them. And, just like the first time I read it when the flowers were delivered a few minutes ago, I smiled.
Remember?
That was all it said, but that was all it needed to say.
My graduation night was filled with so many perfect memories. I thought back to when I saw his gorgeous face in the crowded gym, how he picked me up and kissed me, and then we were interrupted by Max. I recalled how he brought me to his house, and Sarah introduced me to all of her guests as his girlfriend. I laughed when I remembered Alex getting jealous over Evan flirting with me. I thought back to the gazebo and when he told me about the research project and how he wanted to come home after the internship because he had something to come home to. Then, of course, his bedroom. He was a man possessed, and I didn’t think I had ever been more turned on than I’d been that night. He claimed me, and I loved every second of it. For the first time in my life, I'd felt like a woman.
I couldn’t help but get a little sad when I thought about how things were so wonderful then and how they had all changed so quickly. Right now, we should be together. Alex was home from the internship, and we should’ve been starting a new life together, just the two of us as we’d planned that night in his backyard. But everything turned complicated. I wasn’t sure if we were even a couple anymore.
I'd hurt him. It was stupid of me to pull away from him the way I did. Bad enough I didn’t tell him about the baby right away, but I should’ve stayed in touch with him instead of putting him through all of that unnecessary worry. I had my reasons, and at the time, I thought it was for the best. Alex was being so good with me these past few days, but I wanted to feel that heat, like before. I wanted him to want me the way he did before I was pregnant.
I wanted to be with him. I was in love with him and having his baby. He cared for me, and I didn’t doubt he wanted the baby, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with me. He’d only been home a short time, and he had enough on his mind; I didn’t think discussing our relationship was what he needed, on top of everything else. I wasn’t sure he could handle it.
For the time being, I decided I’d take what I could get and him spending the evenings with me, holding me and feeling my stomach, was more than I could’ve hoped for a few months ago. I could wait for him to admit his feelings.
