I didn’t say anything for a few minutes, because the baby kept kicking, and I didn’t want the moment to end, but we had much to discuss. I draped my arm across his chest and said, "Are you mad at me?"
"That’s a hard question to answer. I know why you didn’t tell me, but I wish you hadn’t kept this from me. I could’ve helped you through all of the decisions."
"There weren’t that many decisions, other than finding a doctor and deciding when to tell Max," I said. "The hardest part was keeping it from you."
"That’s why you stopped calling me?"
"I was afraid I’d blurt it out over the phone," I said. "There wasn’t anything you could have done here, but I knew you’d want to come home."
"I could’ve still come home, Jocelyn," he said. "I wouldn’t have had to give up the internship, but we could have discussed all of our options."
"What options?"
"Well, did you consider all of the alternatives? I would've wanted to make sure you were aware of all of the available choices."
"What?" I sat up and stared at him. "You’re not suggesting what I think, are you?"
"No, I'm not suggesting anything." He quickly shook his head. "I wouldn’t have wanted you to do that, but I would’ve supported any decision you made. I just feel like I missed so much. Obviously, it’s too late for that, and I’m extremely thankful that you decided to keep our baby, but you’re so young."
"I’m not that young," I said. "I can do this."
"I know you can," he said. "But I don’t want you to change your mind when it’s too late."
"What does that mean?" I spoke through clenched teeth.Does he think I’ll abandonmy baby if I get bored?
"Please calm down! I just want you to know you don’t have to do this because you think it’s what I want."
"What?"
"Have you thought about adoption?"
My heart dropped his words. "Is that what you want me to do?" I could feel the tears threatening to spill.
"I just want you to know I’m here either way," he said. "I’m not trying to hurt you."
"I’m keeping this baby," I said. "If you don’t want to be part of this, then that’s fine. But Iamkeeping this baby."
"That’s not what I meant." Now it was his turn to get upset.
"Then why would you bring that up? Do you think I’m like my mother, and I’ll stick you with a baby and take off?"
"What? No!" He sat up and moved closer to me. "That’s not at all what I was thinking."
"I don’t need you, Alex." I climbed out of bed and headed for the door. "I don’t need new clothes, a new car, or a new doctor."
I was hurt and frustrated. None of what had happened was the way I pictured it would happen.
Alex chased after me, stopping me before I could leave.
"I can do this by myself," I cried. "Just like I’ve been doing!"
"You don’t have to," he said. "I’m playing catch-up, Jocelyn. I haven’t had six months to digest this life-altering decision. I’ve known for three hours. You have to give me some time to adjust."
"Take all the time you need." I stormed out of the room.
"Jocelyn, please," he said. "I didn’t mean to offend you. I was trying to help you."
"By telling me to put our baby up for adoption?" I screamed, just as Evan was coming up the stairs.
