I shook my head as he gently kissed my lips. He was barely touching me, but I could feel the intensity between my legs. That feeling was becoming all too familiar when he was near. Last week, it was intriguing and new, but this week, it was starting to ache. I needed more, but I didn't know how to get it.
"You get my insides all twisted up," he whispered, as he continued to brush his lips against mine. "The more I kiss you, the more I want."
That's exactly how I feel!
He ran his finger down my cheek. "You're so soft," he murmured, as he pulled me over to the bed. "And warm. I want to touch all of you."
Then do it!The voice was screaming in my head, but I was afraid to tell him my thoughts. I hesitantly placed my hands on his perfect chest, then slowly ran them over his well-developed pecs. His body was hard and defined, and I wanted to feel more of him underneath my hands. I'd never done anything like that before, but instinct took over.
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, so I was encouraged to move my hands down his chest, over his ribs, to his abs. His track pants hung low on his hips, and I could see his black boxers sticking out of the top. I didn't know why, but having my fingertips so close to his underwear created that delicious feeling inside my panties.
I don't know what possessed me, but I pressed my lips to his neck and moved them down over his collarbone. He tangled his fingers in my hair and gently guided me down to his chest, as he pulled me closer to his body.
"Jocelyn," he whispered.
I moved my lips back up over his chest and to his neck. I looked up at him and waited for him to tell me what he wanted. He didn't say anything, but my whole body was humming with nervous energy. He looked into my eyes for a few seconds, then pulled me down on the bed, crashing his lips against mine and urgently kissing me. I could feel the desperation, but wasn't sure if it was his or my own.
Our movements were frantic and needy. We were lying on our sides, facing one another, my hands were pressed up against his chest and he had one hand still in my hair, while the other one made its way to the back of my thigh. My hips seemed to involuntarily move as I pushed myself closer to him. He pulled my leg up over his hip and pressed his erection into my stomach, but that didn’t seem right. I wanted to feel him lower. I adjusted slightly so that we were in a better position. I could feel his hardness move into place as he pressed against me. I had never felt an erection before, but I knew enough to know Alex was pretty impressive. The pants he was wearing hid nothing, and I wished that I was wearing something thinner than jeans, because I needed to feel him against me.
He ground against me for a few minutes, but it wasn't enough. In between kisses, I rolled on top of him and tried to take control of the situation, as I moved myself up and down against him. I had no idea what I was doing, but it felt really good and judging from the sounds Alex was making, he liked it too. After a few more seconds, he grabbed my hips and held me still.
"Baby, we have to stop," he said in a raspy voice.
"Why?" I asked. "It doesn't feel good for you?"
He reversed our positions until he lay on top of me, resting his arms on either side of my shoulders. He kissed me, then said, "You have no idea how good it feels; that's why I stopped. It was too good."
"I don't . . . ." I knew I was blushing, but I needed to know. "I don't understand."
"Jocelyn," he whispered. "You're so innocent."
"Maybe I don't want to be innocent anymore," I told him. "I want you to show me, Alex. I want this with you." I was getting frustrated.
"You're not ready."
I could see the regret in his eyes. "How do you know? I feel things when I'm with you. I need you to show me what comes next." I couldn't believe I was telling him this, but I wanted more.
"I will." He smiled. "But, not without control. Jocelyn, we've been together for three weeks, and before that you had never been on a date."
"You've been with so many girls," I said. "I can't be the first virgin."
"You're not." He frowned.
"Then what's the problem?"
"You're different." He rolled off me and propped himself up on his elbow.
"You're not ready for sex, and I don't want to rush you."
I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, my frustration kicking up a notch.
"I'm not different." My tone reflected my annoyance.Is there something wrong withme?"I like being with you."
"I like being with you too," he said. "And, because I like you, I don't want to rush you."
"Oh."Stupid!Maybe he's not attracted to me that way.
He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Jocelyn, I need to know what you’re feeling."
